Not the news I was hoping for

21.7%. That's the body fat percentage the Bod Pod measured me at. I'm disgusted to the point where I'm giving up on the measurement. I'm not doing it anymore. It's not like I'm slacking. it's not like I'm going off the diet, aside from a mental breakdown here and there. So that's the end of that. The day before the show, maybe I'll take a measurement, just to see what my end result is, but that's it.

I trained with Vonda today and that was about as tough as I expected. But I liked it. She has a very calm, reassuring energy. She speaks softly but firmly and she didn't let me get away with crap like...asking her questions about random, unrelated things. The former reporter in me can't help but be inquisitive and I got her to reveal that she grew up spending time on her grandparents' farm where they had livestock and crops. "What kind of crops?" I asked. "I'm not falling for that, the ask-questions-and-delay-the-task trick. Think about the exercise." Drat. I only ask questions to distract myself from the pain and muscle drain. I feel like when I'm thinking too much about what I'm doing sometimes (though not always), I'm more likely to fail. Keeping my head outta the mix can be my best policy. In fact, I don't always like to know how much weight a trainer is making me lift because it will intimidate me and psyche me out. Ignorance is bliss. But I know that Vonda would dispute this point. Anyway, I let her do the counting today, particularly when she had me do 100 step ups on each side. Her motivational tactic? "You're the one that has to get up on that stage." I heard that about 3 or 4 times this morning. She also mentioned that some people collapse and hit the floor on that exercise. The worst I felt throughout the hour-long lower body workout was fatigue to the point of uselessness. "Your legs feeling like jello?" she asked with a devilish grin. Yes, that basically described it.

Toward the end of the workout, she asked me about my training regimen. After I told her I was working out 4 days a week, she looked at me in total disbelief with her big, pale blue eyes and without hesitating, she told me that's not enough. "You take 3 days off? Most people who are training for a competition are in the gym 6 days a week, combining that with 3 days of cardio, working 30 to 45 minutes."

I'm the one who must get up on that stage. I'm also the one who doesn't need to be told that my look is certainly not competition ready. Then again, it shouldn't be just yet (peaking too early would be a problem though it's definitely not my problem), but it sounds like my program may not get me there in time either. She did toss me a figurative bone and said that the first time you compete is a huge learning experience. You discover what your body responds to and what it requires to get you where you need to be. So it's very easy to get things wrong. The thing is, I'm not exactly taking any comfort in my ignorance. In fact, I'm very uncomfortable with it.

It sounds like I'm going to be adding another 2 days to my workout week and bumping up the cardio. Like a total amateur, I've stuck with my nearly complete body workouts each time I go to the gym, or a better way to describe them would be to say I fill in the remaining body parts not worked hard by my trainers the day before. That's going to need to change. I'm going to need to do more targeted workouts, like chest and back one day. Legs another day. Arms another day. Shoulders and core next. Then I don't know what, but I'll figure it out. I'm not sure that I have enough exercises in my repertoire to fill out each of these days, but I'll need to figure that out, too. I only have 6 more weeks to commit myself to the work, and I think that's all I have in me.

The BOD POD

Monday morning, I'm going to have my body composition measured by the most accurate method available. The device being used is called a Bod Pod (pictured), something professional athletes frequently use. Basically, the pod measures the volume of space you consume within the chamber, then a technician is able to breakdown how much of your space is composed of fat and lean mass. I have no idea how that's done, but I will soon find out. All that's required of me is to sit in the chamber for about 30 seconds. I also need to wear tight clothing (workout wear will suffice) and I'll be provided with a tight cap to compress my hair because it takes up space that we don't want to measure.

The reason I'm doing this is because I'm a little obsessed with these numbers. Why? I guess because they are a quantifiable measure of my progress. I'm also not so sure that the caliper method is 100% reliable. This seems like a quick, harmless and easy way to get a very accurate result. It costs $25 and the service is offered at a gym not far away. As of last Thursday, Glenn's measurement had me at 19% body fat. So I'm very curious to see where the pod places me. I'll report the results here Monday afternoon.

Food Finds

Recently, I discovered a new food (pictured) that I'm excited about and plan to incorporate into my diet on a long-term basis. It's known as farro or spelt, and it's an ancient grain with a nutty flavor. That being said, its consistency is more like risotto, the thick Italian rice. It's sold in regular grocery stores, though not every one will necessarily carry it. One cup has 246 calories which is probably average for a carb using that volume, but it has 11 grams of protein which is highly attractive. Recipes can be found on the package or online.

here's another piece of food info. that I recently learned and want to share: strawberries have half the calories of other fruit of the variety one might consider throwing in her cereal or oatmeal like blueberries or raspberries. In my world, this kind of difference is big. A cup of strawberries has 46 calories/11 carbs as compared to blueberries which have 81 calories/21 carbs. Of course, blueberries have lots of other nutritional properties that I wouldn't want to miss so I'll continue to eat them, but I'm going to put strawberries into the rotation more frequently. I customarily avoided them because - dare I say it - they're a little more work than the other berries with the cutting that's required. I can be really lazy like that. But I just cut a whole bunch into quarters and put them in a container in the fridge, so I'm set for a little while.

Alarming Development

Glenn did a body mass assessment yesterday, this one coming two weeks since our last one. I thought my numbers might come out good, with some further loss of fat since the scale has been dropping. MOSTLY WRONG! I lost 2 lbs. of muscle and 1 lb. of fat. This wrecked my afternoon and sent me into a complete mental and emotional tailspin. The problem is that 1,350 calories is not enough for me. My body consumed muscle in the absence of what it needed. Freakin great. I'm 7 weeks away from the competition and I'm supposed to be building muscle, not stripping it away. I worked really really hard to build it and in 2 weeks, I lost some of it. So this is extremely upsetting. I went on a minor food bender and ate a bunch of stuff in the fridge by late afternoon.

No wonder I've been feeling like I'm starving myself for the last 2 weeks. Needless to say, the calories are going up today, back to at least 1,500, and we'll see where that gets me. I was doing fine with that amount before. I'm also going up to increase my protein and decrease my carbs a bit. I realize that this whole process is largely trial and error, and also that the body tries to engage counter measures to adjust to whatever stresses you place on it. I'll do another assessment in 2 weeks and hopefully, the results will be better.

In the meantime, I think I'm going to get some highlights in my hair soon. I feel like it's time to make a subtle change.

Next week: training with Vonda on Monday and the posing suit fitting on Wed.

Dramatic improvements

I followed Michelle's dietary guidelines today (though I haven't whipped up her strange pancake yet) and I feel MUCH better. The calories are coming at more even intervals and at a pace where I can still have a decent dinner. Yay. I also got a haircut today because I couldn't stand the length anymore, it was soooo long. It's now about 3 inches shorter, however, this isn't the competition cut. That will come in about a month. Another bit of random info...I just booked a hotel room for the night before the competition and the day of the competition. We need to be at the competition site at 7 a.m. the day of the event and staying at the hotel puts me much closer so that I won't need to deal with a long commute. Also, after I get my tan on Fri. night (the night before the competition), there's not much I can do with myself except lay around and try not to mess it up. I wanted the room for Sat., too, because the competition involves a morning pre-judging where the judges narrow it down to something like 5 finalists in each category, but everyone needs to come back in the evening to find out who the 5 are. So there is a big gap in time and I need somewhere to hang out. Where can I go with a goofy looking tan that can rub off? Back to my hotel room.

Here's a diet tip that I'm very excited about and want to pass along. I recently grilled chicken with what's known as a "rub." It's a highly flavorful powder that you pour onto your protein (it could be fish, steak or whatever) then rub it in. And that's it! No waiting time like with a marinade. And it can be very few calories, depending on its composition. It was so easy and incredibly tasty. Maybe I'm the only one who has never tried this, but I'm glad I finally did because it's going to make a big difference for me since my fantastic panko breaded chicken is no longer an option. I'll start sampling a bunch of different rub varieties very soon.

Counting calories and coming up nearly complete...by 4 PM

The last two days have been way too challenging. I haven't completely adjusted to the new calorie count (1,300 - 1,400) in terms of spreading out the calories evenly throughout the day. I eat a tame breakfast, tame lunch with no snack in between (and I wasn't happy about that), then a snack in the afternoon, and I'm left with about 250 or 300 calories for dinner. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I talked to Michelle about this, swore more than a few times, whined for a few minutes, then she very sympathetically explained how I should approach things. Basically, for breakfast, it's 6 egg whites with oats (she told me how to combine them with a few other ingredients to make a pancake...???), for lunch, it's 4 oz. of a protein, 8 oz. of a veggie and 4 oz. of a carb, and the same for dinner. There's a tiny snack thrown in there with a few items, one of which measured 1/4 cup, so that's kinda not worth mentioning. This plan comes on top of days that include really hard workouts. Sounds like things are going to be rather rough for a while. Who knows, I might start stealing the dogs' food.

Latest confessions

I'm definitely moodier these days. When I get pissed off, now I want to bite the person's head off. Not that I'm the most patient person (I'm actually the least), but still, it's my kids who can more easily set me off.

I ran a mile in 10 minutes, 20 seconds last night. Not a very good time and not an improvement over the last time I did it, not that this matters all that much. Plus, I haven't done it in over a week. I've been swimming for cardio.

I ate a piece of cake last night!!!! I'd like to say that I feel terrible but I don't. I absolutely loved it! My parents were over for dinner and my mom brought dessert, and I thought I'd just taste a piece with a knife, just a sliver. Then I had another, and another, shaving that thing down until it was half gone and at that point, WTF! I just finished the damn thing! I told Michelle when I saw her today, and she said, don't sweat it, but come September...NOT A CHANCE!!

Michelle will be absent next Monday, so I'll be training instead with...VONDA! (see a previous post to learn more about her and her scariness). I'm VERY excited about this! The vaunted Vonda! When I saw her today to schedule my time, she said, "Be ready, girl!" Heehee, haha, uh-oh!

A rather ripped woman keeps coming into King's Gym around the time when I'm finishing up in my new time slot and I don't know if she's going to be competing in Oct. but she's in close-to-competition condition and it brings out my competitive side. I won't make eye contact with her but I will steal glances in the mirrors and compare what we've got. I'm not sure how we rate against each other, but her lower body is beatable, if another person brings it in that department. She's definitely in her 40s and sports a complete tan which might have aged her a bit, too, unless it's fake, but I don't have a trained eye for that. So now I find myself thinking of her when I'm in the gym by myself and it inspires me because I don't like her (she gives an evil vibe, but maybe that's just me being weird but I kinda doubt it) and I'd like to look better than her, especially if she's competing.

On this new diet of fewer calories, I'm hoping to bring the weight down at a rate of 1 pound per week and I'll see where that gets me. The back fat still needs to go, so after about a 5 pound loss, I'm thinking that I should see a difference.

Turning a corner

108.8. That's what the scale read this morning. I haven't weighed that amount since the mid '90s. That's what make it feel extremely surreal. I should be overjoyed, and I think I am, but still, a fog surrounds it. I definitely like how the weight loss has changed my shape and allowed my muscles to be more pronounced, but I know I still have further to go. I've lost the weight by living on fewer calories, among other strategies like exercise and following a certain numbers of carbs, protein and fat. My current calorie range is 1,300 - 1,400 which is not a lot and requires strict adherence to the right foods which I'm still experimenting with. Typical bodybuilders eat the same things day after day, leading up to a competition and I thought that sounded really dreary. But I believe I now finally understand it. It's very difficult to consume a day's worth of food and stay on target in all areas. So eating the same meals each day that are properly composed of the right nutrients subtracts any uncertainty, guesswork and error. Also, Glenn has preached blandness to me and I thought I could prove him wrong, that I could find tasty add-ons for flavor to make things more palatable. Wrong! I tried teriyaki - no! it has sugar. I tried salsa - no! it has sugar. Really, the only additions I can use are vinegar and mustard. That's it. Food for fuel, he says. Fine, I'm there. It's taken me about 5 months to wrap my head around this notion but I've arrived at last. I'm not thrilled about it either. But I'm going to keep reminding myself that this is a finite period for which I need to adhere to these rules. It's about 12 more weeks, taking me to the second competition. My energy level is dropping, so I need to adjust to that, too. I see naps in my near future. And tylenol. And mood swings. And more bitching here. I've been warned about all this, but being the perverse person I am, I thought I could dodge it somehow. Not a chance.

Fake tanning and other artifice

Yesterday, I scheduled my tanning session for the Oct. 2nd competition. This is some lady's business and she must be following the competition circuit around the country, charging $50 for the basic tan. I'm not sure what that means and whether anything else besides "basic" is required, but I'll find out. Michelle explained that this person sets herself up in a room at the host hotel, creating a space that's entirely covered in plastic for the spray on process. She clusters the appointments by gender and I think I know why. Nudity. Clients need to strip it down to get complete coverage. I'm not quite sure how the logistics of this will play out, but I've known about it for a while, so I've made mental adjustments. Plus, this is her job, she's seen thousands of bare butts and what not, so what the heck. My appointment is at 6:30 p.m., the Friday night before the Saturday event. This tan is highly mobile, meaning it will come off on sheets and anything else, but it washes out with proper treatment. Sleeping naked is advised. Touch ups the next day are required and the tanning lady has another set up at the competition location - nudity not required. The process does not include one's face, so that must be addressed separately with make-up. With this in mind, I approached the MAC counter at Nordstrom's last week and met a sweet artist who coincidentally (and I don't think she was BS'g me) has worked on bodybuilders many times, even going to shows to do make-up the day of the event. I don't think that's necessary, but I could use some instruction. She showed me some super dark foundation that she recommends for matching up with the tan. It looked like coffee with cream. I'm also interested in having her teach me how to create with eye make-up a more dramatic look for the stage, to appear more polished and less pedestrian. I'll schedule a session with her sometime in the next few weeks.

Diet modifications

Trainer Glenn recommended that I cut out the whole grain bread I eat (with next-to-no-calorie jelly) on alternating mornings. The bread is very high calorie, especially compared to the steel cut oats I eat on the other mornings. I made the change last Friday and I thought I'd miss it, but I don't really think about it. I guess I just try to savor something else instead like...my cup of tea with 2% milk and 2 teaspoons of sugar. I know that's kinda British of me and sorta naughty, but as long as I can get away with it, I intend to. He also cut out all dairy, like cheese, cottage cheese and yogurt because they contain some carbs and he's looking to reduce a few of those sources. I spent the weekend without all of these items and - shocker - I lost a pound by this morning. It's shocking because Sat. is a rest day and Sunday was 20 minutes of swimming laps, not exactly the heaviest calorie burner. But that's Glenn's theory - weight loss through diet manipulation and muscle development, not heavy cardio. However, I met with Michelle today for posing and nutrition consulting and she thought I should reinstate the dairy. Conflicting advice like this is one of the challenges accompanying working with 2 trainers. So, I thought about it and realized that subtracting the yogurt deprived me of 14 grams of protein and the cheese loss deprived me of some more protein and some fat which, semi-surprisingly, I'm a little short on. But if you eat a diet heavy on protein and veggies and low or no fat carbs, you easily can miss the mark (mine is anywhere from 27 to 60 grams and many days I've only been at 18). So I'll put those items back into rotation, in a measured way. Instead of daily yogurt, I'll see how the day is going and only eat it if I need the protein. I've been pushing my carbs down in the day, trying not to eat any after lunch, and I think this method continues to be effective with weight loss. One other issue...I completely fell off the water wagon. The week we were on vacation proved very disruptive to the gallon-a-day habit. I still haven't returned to it. So that's a total of 2 1/2 weeks that I've strayed. I can't seem to get my act together. I plan to try harder starting tomorrow.

I trained with Michelle today and it was hard, like I expected, but not impossible which was slightly surprising. I sweat like a sprinkler, with streams running out of every inch of my face and neck, but I was okay with that. I liked the way she pushed me but knew when to back off, too. She was highly attentive to everything I was doing (proper technique, correct amount of weight, increasing intensity where possible) and she explained what our game plan was for the hour, then assigned me a targeted workout for the remaining muscles during my independent session tomorrow. I'm not sure how I'll feel in the morning, but my energy is fine today. Like I do with all workouts, particularly ones of anticipated higher intensity, I eat carefully beforehand and afterward. For our 11 a.m. session, I ate my now standard breakfast of steel cuts oats with a cup of fruit on top (blueberries or raspberries this week) since bread is knocked out of the rotation, 1 cup of white tea (with 2 teaspoons of raw cane sugar - I hope no one cuts it!!), later a protein shake and 30 minutes after, a bowl of quinoa with some roasted red peppers (from a jar) and some chopped olives. That's obviously heavy on the carbs (though quinoa has a nice amount of protein) but without them, I fear I might pass out or something. Furthermore, I burn them during the workout. Would I burn more fat without them? Maybe, but I also might not perform as well and building muscle during these workouts is still high priority. After the workout, I had some grilled chicken and vegetables and no other carbs for the rest of the day, except for the minimal amount in carrots and a few tomatoes. What I could really go for right now is one of the snickerdoodle cookies in my kitchen, but no, I won't do it.

Bikini shot #5

Excuse the shorts lines...I don't sunbathe. I'm learning that lighting makes a big difference, and there's no good lighting in this shot. This reinforces how things will work much more favorably at the contests where lighting is ample and, when that's combined with the fake tan, every curve will stand out in stark relief.

Training Transition

Starting Monday, I'm switching to training with Michelle and no longer with Ed, up until the competition on October 2. Michelle competed several years ago and, leading up to her competition, she trained with champion heavyweight boxer Vonda Ward, pictured here. Vonda is a beast, a walking brick wall, and possibly a nice person, but I've never had contact with her. I've only been in King's Gym a few times while she was punishing a step machine, maintaining a (safe) distance and having no eye contact. She's 6'6" and her boxing record is 22 wins and 1 loss, with 17 wins by knockout. Yikes! Michelle has described for me the exercises Vonda ran her through and, omg. Lethal. So that's what I'm signing up for. I think it will be effective. I'm going to need to learn how to count to 50 for some of the reps. Ouch. Michelle plans to do some HIIT (high intensity interval training) with me, too. The plan/hope/intention is to build more muscle and hasten fat loss, aside from the dietary methods in place. If I can finally bid my back fat goodbye and good riddance, I'm willing to endure her program.

The New Numbers

My new body mass numbers are in and I thought they might be better than they came out, so I'm a little disappointed, but they do show improvement.

19% body fat
20.8 lbs. of fat
89.8 lbs. lean mass

compared to measurements taken July 1:

19.8% body fat
22 lbs. of fat
89.8 lbs. lean mass

I still have a lot to lose, so that's what the next 8 weeks are going to be about and I'm semi dreading it. My new diet plan will be worked out in the next day or two, and I'll begin it on Monday. I'll share the details of its composition as soon as I have them. The key to weight loss in the context of bodybuilding is to lose it slowly to prevent loss of muscle. That's been the approach so far, but the remaining amount of fat that I need to lose requires what I'd call more drastic measures. I'll use my ketone strips (see a previous post) to help guide the process. Overall, I'd say my prevailing feeling surrounding this upcoming process is one of fear.

Progress Report

I spent the last week on a family vacation, a trip purposely timed so that it fell just beyond what I might call my red zone, the 10 weeks before the first competition. I worked out, but missed a few times. I ate well, but had a few minor indulgences here and there. However, I ran my mile and improved my time by one minute. So all was not lost even though probably not much was gained. I will do a body mass assessment on Thursday this week with Glenn to determine what needs to happen starting Aug. 1. I'll also post new bikini pictures this coming weekend (think: sequins!). I'm in a very competitive mood right now and I'm feeling like I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make the most gains (the muscle kind) and losses (the fat kind) in the time that remains. What I'll be saying to my trainers, as they said to me earlier in my training - Bring it!!

Ketosis and Catabolism (a primer)

Here is some information I gathered from trainer/posing coach/former competitor/nutritionist Michelle which I find interesting and might serve as mind candy for others (no calories!). It concerns the existence of test strips to determine whether your body is in a state of ketosis. What's that? It will be familiar to anyone acquainted with the Atkins Diet, something which I cannot say I am. However, I am well aware of ketosis, a condition where the body is beginning to use muscle for fuel which occurs when carbs have been depleted. If you're on a low carb diet, this condition is a likely outcome, although the body also will burn fat in the absence of carbs. This is the source of weight loss and supposed beauty of a low carb diet. Of course, if you're a bodybuilder, the last thing you want to do is burn muscle and this is a likely outcome if your body fat percentage is low. It's simply a more attractive option to your body since there's so little fat. Catabolizing (catabolism) is another word used to describe the burning of muscle for fuel. I raise this because, in the coming months, I will be reducing my carb intake carefully to lose fat but not to go so far as to lose muscle. One way to safeguard against it is by using KetoStix (made by Bayer) but also sold under other names (i.e. ketone test strips) at regular pharmacies (i.e. CVS). Much like pregnancy test strips, they require the morning's first pee. The strips have shades of purple indicating the degree to which your body is in ketosis. I became very excited when Michelle told me about this product because it offers a reasonably accurate (though not 100%) method of determining whether you've gone too far. Without a diagnostic tool, how would you know? To further educate yourself, here is a decent article covering the topic: www.lowcarbluxury.com/ketostix.html.

Taking some inches off.....the length of my hair

After seeing a bodybuilding competition in March, then imagining myself up there doing the identical posing moves, I made a quick decision. I need to cut my hair to make it shorter. At least 6 inches shorter, by the time October gets here. For me, this is a matter of strategy. It's about covering up or at least obscuring an imbalance in my trapezius muscles, created over a 30-year period during which my left arm has seen about 75% greater usage than my right arm, the one that shakes. Why the imbalance primarily rests there, I can't exactly explain, but it's all about how I compensate in daily life. In a competition, one major element of the judging covers muscle symmetry and balance. In my case, I feel that the difference between the two sides is unmistakable. Since March, however, I think I've made some gains on my right side and maybe the imbalance is not as significant, but when I flex, it's still apparent. The muscles between my shoulder and neck on the left side are, quite simply, wicked strong. So I'm sticking with the original plan. The added benefit is that I won't need to sweep my hair off my back for greater exposure during the back pose. The big deal there is it will break my concentration which will be 200% focused on every muscle in my body and on keeping my right arm as steady as possible. I just can't be bothered with rearranging my hair, like most of the girls do. I've had my hair cut above my shoulders before, so having it just below my shoulders doesn't seem like a huge sacrifice, despite what will be a dramatic diminished length compared to where it is now and will be in a few months. But I see myself as a true competitor, and a competitor does whatever it takes to achieve her goal.

Alternative Footwear

Trainer Glenn told me about a product that sounded kinda crazy, but it made me think and I haven't been able to get it out of my head, so I thought I'd share it here. It's called Vibram FiveFingers Footwear (pictured) and it's predicated on the notion that feet are weakened by not being bare. By wearing their thin shoe, all of your foot's articulations and muscles are able to work freely, without the constraints of a shoe. Wild concept. I don't think I want a pair because I recall wearing socks with individual toes and they hurt! My toes don't like being spread out, evenly slightly. But maybe it's something to which a person would grow accustomed? If it sounds appealing, this is the product's website - www.vibramfivefingers.com.

Toilet Talk!

In response to the previous post, a friend let me know that there are 2 apps to help with bathroom needs. First, there's SitOrSquat, which also has a website of the same name, designed to enable a person to find a toilet anywhere in the world!! The site has compiled more than 90,000 toilet locations. And there's also the Toilet Finder app which boasts of 400,000 users. I feel like the world just became a safer place.

One gallon of water, consumed!

The goal of consuming a gallon of water per day has been looming and I've been anxious about whether it's really possible for me to imbibe such an enormous quantity. I decided to make yesterday the day it would happen. It was nearly a full-time a job. Between drinking and peeing, I was very busy with the task. The greatest peril lies with leaving the house because there's no way to go an hour without peeing. I think I'm going to learn where every bathroom is within 10 square feet of the places I frequent. It takes a dedicated effort to make the consumption happen, but I have in place some strategy. One of my sons drinks tons of Snapple Ice Tea, so I've been saving the bottles which conveniently have screw off caps and fit in my purse. They hold 16 oz. and 8 of them equals a gallon. I prefer glass to plastic because it's safer, with no chemicals leaching in to the water. I drink distilled and yes, it's contained in a plastic bottle, but it's the formula that doesn't leach, plus, it's not exposed to any heat which accelerates that process. After I finish drinking a bottle, I set it aside. I like to see the progress, with bottles moving from one side of the kitchen to the other. Yes, cheap thrills. The purpose of drinking all this water is to aid in weight loss, to bathe the muscles which enhances their development and to train my body for the time close to the competition when I'll "dehyrdate," not in the sense of passing out but in the sense of expelling as much water as possible, as my body is conditioned to do, despite not receiving the customary amount because I cut back the amount considerably. So from now on, if there's not a bottle of water within reach at all times, I'm doing something wrong.

A Measure of Progress

Progress sometimes can be hard to measure when you engage in an activity over a long stretch of time. But with weightlifting, it's a little more obvious. This is what struck me today when I worked out with trainer Ed. Back in March or April, he had me doing walking lunges with 8 lb. dumbbells in each hand. The next day, I had some extreme quad pain. And the day after that, it hurt worse. Today, he had me doing this as part of a super set that involved 2 other exercises. No problem! I could talk the whole time and not struggle a bit. I wasn't entirely surprised because I use 12.5 lb. dumbbells during my independent gym work. And trainer Glenn always has me using 17.5 and 20 lb. dumbbells in each hand with lower body work. The experience with Ed gave me a sense of accomplishment and clear evidence of increased strength. That felt good. I don't know where my outer limits are, but I don't think I've hit them. I've seen women at the gym work with 17.5 lb. dumbbells for upper body work and the thought that always goes through my head is "Never!" But maybe not. I don't have any particular weight goals for myself, but it's funny how the unimaginable sometimes because possible.

Fine tuning the diet and shedding some fabric

Without sounding like an obsessional bore, I feel the need to confess to two dramatic changes, one diet related and one concerning clothes. Sparkpeople.com revealed to me that spreading a total of 4 tablespoons of natural peanut butter on 3 thick slices of multigrain bread is a really bad idea. It has LOADS of fat and calories, two of my enemies beyond a certain point. When I started bodybuilding seriously back in March, I was putting organic low fat cream cheese on my bread and felt that the switch was an improvement because I thought there was greater nutritional value in the peanut butter. Maybe that would be true if I used a fraction of the amount, but then what's the point? So my peanut butter habit is gone and has been replaced with artificially sweetened jelly. Normally, I avoid those sweeteners, but I feel like this is a good time and place for it. Plus, I use less jelly, maybe a total of 3 tablespoons, so that's a minimal amount. My source of clothing excitement is the ability to wear short shorts. I think my legs are finally able to carry the look. Or, at least, it's borderline, and I just wanted to take the plunge, like I did when I went to the gym Friday. The look will improve further once I melt some more fat off my legs, but I like the idea of starting to shed more and more fabric, leading up to the teeny weeny posing suit in Oct.
Bonus confession: I made a major discovery this week...for those who shop at Costco, I learned that they sell Chobani yogurt, the high protein Greek style I favor, mentioned in an earlier post! The only place I've ever seen it is Fresh Market and that's often the only reason why I go there, but I'm at Costco about once a week, so that's a better option. They sell the 3 flavors I like - peach, strawberry and blueberry - in a case of 12 which does not exceed what I can consume within the expiration period. And it's much cheaper. I love Costco!

"If you bite it, write it!"

That's Michelle's mantra for me. She's referring to Sparkpeople.com Anything that's consumed needs to be recorded on that website. What's amazing is how it breaks down each food into its component parts - fats, carbs and protein. Two foods may each be 300 calories, but one may have a higher carb composition, or maybe it's higher in fat content. Who cares, you may ask. It's like a pound of feathers vs. a pound of nails, right? Wrong. Look, you could eat nothing but say 12 twinkies in a day (4 per meal) and have that add up to about 1,800 calories which isn't bad. But you haven't supplied your body with the proper nutrients like protein and without that one in particular, over time, you will lose muscle and possibly add fat, having a net zero effect on the scale. is that a desired outcome? No! So technically, all calories are not equal and a pound of feathers is not equal to a pound of nails. The beauty of the website lies in how it allows you to critically analyze everything. The problem is that you probably don't know how much of each element (carbs, fat and protein) you need in a day and that's key information. Michelle told me what my range is based on my goals (gaining muscle, losing fat) and activity level. It might require a consultation with a nutritionist or a little independent research to get your numbers, but once you have them, you can steer yourself properly.

'Nother wake up call

Another session with Michelle, another wake up call. Some of the information she shared with me I had heard at one time or another but chose to forget about, other stuff I knew was coming but she made it more real and concrete. Yesterday, I trained with her instead of Ed because of the holiday this week and scheduling conflicts. We also added a 45 minute nutrition session to go over what I've been eating. I've inputted most of the food I eat onto the Sparkpeople.com website and with a few clicks, we were able to create one day's worth of meals and snacks that I've consumed. Instantly, we had the total calorie count along with the amount of fat, carbs and protein in the day. She thought my numbers looked good though she cautioned me about some of my choices. As a nutrition counselor, she definitely knows what to look for, unlike me who sits wide eyed, trying to learn everything. Peas? No good. Broccoli, much better because there's fewer carbs. Iceburg lettuce? No good because it has no fiber, hardly any vitamins and minerals and contains 1 gm. of sugar per oz. Romaine, better since it's fortified and has some fiber. We'll continue tracking me for a week to see how I do. Being the bright chick that she is, Michelle also wants to know what my workout consists of each day so she can factor in calorie burning. But she also informed me/reminded me that starting in August, my water consumption needs to increase to 128 ounces = 1 GALLON. OMG. Plus, the workouts will get tougher with much higher reps. OMG. This is while I'm on the strict, no nonsense, everything that goes in must be precisely the prescribed amount diet. OMG!!!! I'm kinda asking myself, what the hell did I get myself into? Because it's all been very manageable so far. But I think it's going to get very ugly next month.

Answer to a frequently asked question

I've been asked numerous times what my family thinks of my bodybuilding activity. The breakdown goes like this: my 16-year-old son is the doubter who thinks I'm a little bit off my rocker for doing this, but I think I'm gradually changing his mind. He occasionally likes to arm wrestle with me just to make sure I'm not stronger than he is. So far I'm not, but I put up a good fight with my left arm. He's about 5 inches taller than me, and despite the fact that he doesn't do any fitness work, he's in good shape. My 13-year-old son is my biggest supporter. He plays football and is involved with intense training for the sport, so he knows his way around a gym and we often discuss different exercises and how much weight each of us can lift. Recently, he showed me a tougher way to do push ups which was a source of some delight. Sometimes, when I flex my bicep for him, he laughs. He thinks it's funny that I have definition there, I guess. Not long ago, the two of them were sitting at the kitchen table and one of them (forgot which) asked me if I think I can win. Without hesitating, I said yes, more because I was posturing and didn't want them to think I feel defeated. And sometimes I even do think I could place toward the top, even if it's just wishful thinking. Then I retreated slightly and told them that I think I will be competitive, they didn't argue and we left it at that. My husband remained somewhat neutral for the first few months, but in the last few weeks, he often likes me to flex for friends. "C'mon, make a muscle," he'll say. I always do. No shyness there. He says he thinks I look really good, but I suppose that this is a fraught observation...if he says I look "better" or anything, then he might fear getting into trouble because that might suggest he thought I looked "bad" before. For the most part, he leaves this topic alone. I'm actually more comfortable with family members staying out of it because if they become too emotionally involved, I'll feel more pressure, and I think I put enough on myself as it is.

Bikini shot #4 exposed

So what we have here are poor attempts at demonstrating some muscle. The problem, of course, is that it's still buried under a layer of fat. I will continue to chip away at it every day and hopefully, in another month, I'll be more ripped with fewer rolls. Please admire my golden retriever Buddy and ignore the massive bruise on my left arm, a result of the blood test I had this week.

The results are in.....

The thyroid test....negative. No issues there. I was concerned that my inability to budge the scale a single pound was indicative of a problem, maybe a metabolic one, leading me to think that I have thyroid issues. Wrong.

Body composition measurements...positive!!!! Despite the scale being frozen on 112 lbs. for the past 2 months, here is where I'm at:

19.8% body fat
22 lbs. of fat
89.8 lbs. lean mass

compared with the measurements from a month ago:

22.5% bodyfat
25.4 lbs. of fat
87.6 lbs. lean body mass

I'm very happy about this because I've been working very hard and have been suspect of the results. There's nothing like cold hard evidence to cheer me up.

Updates

I had my blood test yesterday but won't have the results until maybe Friday. My doctor didn't have much to say about whether or not she thinks I have a thyroid problem. I got the feeling that she wants to let the test tell me. But I do know that neither of my trainers, Glenn nor Ed, think I have a problem. "Don't waste your time with the test," said Glenn. "Throw your scale out," said Ed. OK, so we'll see. I'm due for a body composition measurement tomorrow with Glenn, so that should be interesting. I'll report the results Thursday evening. It's also time for another bikini shot which I'll probably handle Friday.

Tonight, I ran a mile to fulfill my cardio obligations. I used my Motorola wireless headset (pictured here) to play music off my phone, and that helped tremendously. I highly recommend wireless headsets. They double as bluetooth devices, so if a phone call comes in, I can answer it without needing to press a single button. This is what I always use in the gym. I never see anyone else with one, and I've never understood why. Having wires leading from your earphones to your iPod can be very inconvenient. Anyway, the run went well in terms of completing it without stopping but I'm embarrassed to confess how long it took. 10 minutes, 45 seconds. I need to work on that.

How to put a "spark" in your day

Michelle introduced me to a new website that has many features, one of which is calculating the nutritional elements of the food you eat. It's not magic - it requires lots of data entry. It's called Sparkpeople.com and she wants me to use it to determine, with precision, how many calories I'm consuming, as well as protein and fat. I haven't entirely figured out the site because it's a little confusing, but Michelle loves it and finds it easy to use, so it must be me. But if I spend more time with it, maybe it won't be as challenging. I will continue to work on it. I believe that it's a good idea, too. However, it requires the food item to be in front of you to enter all of its components. For everything else without packaging, one can consult nutritiondata.com. Once that info. is entered, then it's easily retrieved for repeated consumption and future calculations. And while I'm mentioning food, I discovered another protein packed yogurt - Siggi's, an Icelandic style that's THICK (as in, it won't fall off your spoon), non-fat, 0% milkfat with no artificial sweeteners and no growth hormones. 120 calories per container, 16 grams of protein, 20% of total required calcium, 11 grams of sugar from agave nectar. Now that I've detailed its composition, I can say that, after consuming the pomegranate & passion fruit flavor, it's only ok, not great. I'll try blueberry next. At the very least, I fully endorse its ingredients.

Holy Hematology!!!

I was talking to my mother yesterday and expressed frustration over my difficulties with losing some weight (ok, I complained vociferously, even though I should be more chill about this). Then, very coincidentally, she read an article later that evening about hypothyroidism, a condition which can lead to difficulty losing weight. She sent an excerpt that reads: "an underactive thyroid (hypothyroidism) disrupts your metabolism. Some estimates show that as many as 10% of adults have hypothyroidism which is more common in women and is often diagnosed in women between the ages of 40 and 50. Other symptoms of hypothyroidism include hair loss. If you’re interested in following up on this, ask your internist to run a TSH (thyroid-stimulating-hormone) screening on you. The higher your TSH level, the slower your thyroid is. While traditional normal values are between .45 and 4.5, if your level is above 2, you might still struggle to lose weight. Your doctor may also want to check your levels of T-3 and T-4, the two main thyroid hormones.” Could that be it???? Needless to say, I called first thing this morning to schedule an appointment with my doctor. I'll see her on Tuesday this coming week and I'll get a blood test the same day. When I receive the results, I'll share them here. The condition is treated with medication, so it's not an enormous problem. I've been instructed that the lower your body fat percentage drops, the harder it is to lose the fat. So dropping from say 20% to 16% is hard, and dropping from 16% to 12% is even harder. But if something else is interfering here, I'd like to know about it.

New Plan

Cardio is nice and it might even be helping me lose a fraction of a pound...each week, but more drastic measures are required to scare my fat away. Starting the day after the July 4th weekend, I'm going hardcore. This means no mistakes in my diet. It must be perfect. That means the number of calories must be right and the composition of the food (protein, carbs and fat) must be precise. I will subject my daily intake to the scrutiny of my trainers and I'll have my body composition measured on a weekly basis. This will continue for 10 weeks, leading up close to the first competition, with a couple weeks in there to make final dietary adjustments after we see where I'm at. I'm the most impatient person I've ever met and I can't help myself here. But seriously, if a person can reasonably lose 1 pound per week, and I need to lose about 8 to 10 lbs. of fat and not muscle, then I cannot afford to squander a single week over the next 10. I'm very determined to get this right. I feel a huge amount of frustration with this aspect of the activity, and the only way to feel better is to do something about it.

New respect for runners

While away on vacation, I felt bound and determined to conquer the mile. I had my pedometer with me and I dutifully clocked a mile. The first time, it was a struggle. I had to break into a walk 3 times. I didn't use any music like I usually do in the gym, but I'm not so sure that would have helped. Two days later, I tried again. I ran it without stopping once and without feeling like I might collapse into a coma! It wasn't fun, and I didn't feel terrific afterward, but I do have a sense of accomplishment. I also have a new respect for all runners. It's brutal! I think Ed will be proud of me.

Heel hindrance

During posing practice with Michelle this past week, I wore my super high posing heels. While I'm very accustomed to walking in high heels with decades of experience behind me, so to speak, this pair is a bit higher than all of my other pairs. So during practice, I didn't walk smoothly and that bothered me. I hadn't worn this pair previously, other than trying them on to see if they fit. Now I realize that I have another competition element to master - walking gracefully in these things. I mentioned this new challenge to a friend and she suggested that I wear them around the house where I'm bending down, changing direction, walking up and down steps, all things that require balance. At first, I thought I'd just dedicate some exclusive time to walking in them a few times a week, but I like her idea better - fold it in to what I'm already doing. Time to water the flowers in the backyard? Slap on the heels!

Yikes!!!!!!!!!!

Today, I shared my body composition (fat!) frustrations with trainer Glenn and, based on the kinds of things I'm eating and the quantities, he thinks I could very well be restricting my calories too much and putting my body in starvation mode. In order to lose fat through calorie restriction, you need to fall a few hundred calories short. If you exceed that say by maybe 500 calories or more, you won't lose fat and you risk burning muscle for energy, also known as catabolism, the arch enemy of all body builders. He said he'll take a look at what I eat in a single day since he knows that most of my days are very similar and give me an evaluation. He thinks that what I'll need to do is eat more of the things I'm eating. I have an incredible amount of discipline when it comes to food, so if I need make cuts, no problem, I will do it. I don't have a sweet tooth, so that never interferes either. But I think I've overdone it and overreached with the calorie deficit. I guess everything I'm doing is trial and error, and with my lack of experience with these issues, I should expect to get a lot wrong in my first attempt. Fortunately, it's not too late to make changes, and I'm going to start doing that today.

Freakin Fat

I met with posing and all-around coach Michelle on Tuesday, and I received a wake-up call, not that I was sleeping, but I think I've been in denial about how much cardio it's going to take to rid me of my fat. My diet is very clean, so I think my body readjusts to any changes I make such as subtracting calories or reducing carbs. To evaluate my fat situation, Michelle whipped out a special scale that measures body fat with minimal info., just age and height. OK. Not sure how that works but once again, I'm still at 22%. My fat will not going quietly into the night. If only. But Michelle has armed me with some strategy. I'm now going to keep a food log for a week and she's going to review it. This log will contain the food eaten, time of day it's eaten and amount in weight or quantity. I just bought a food scale for $20 for this purpose. I'm happy that she's getting involved at this up-close range because I can't seem to accomplish any reduction myself and I've been trying very hard for the past 6 weeks. While Michelle isn't suggesting that I make any immediate changes in my eating habits, her point is to take a look at what I'm doing to see if anything might be contributing to my fat's stubbornness (my words, not hers). In the meantime, I'm going to increase my cardio to 45 minutes, twice a week. She thinks that might help, and she suggested that I'll likely need to add another day or two later on. Like I wrote in an earlier post, building muscle is much easier than loosing fat.

The Longest Mile

As I mentioned in a previous post, I'm not much of a runner and I certainly don't achieve any sort of runner's high when I engage in the activity. Nonetheless, Ed has me running each week during our training sessions now, with a goal of building up to a mile soon. I'm at 3/5 of a mile now. The purpose is to burn calories, but also to build muscle and to prove that I can do this. "But can't I stick with the elliptical?" I've implored him. No. Why not? Because running is harder in the sense that there's no real momentum, it's all work. OK then, I've signed up for work with my training, so I must do this. I do like a challenge though, so I accept this one. I realize that one stinky mile is rather wimpy anyway, so I agree that I should be able to do this without a struggle. Of course, I could run a mile now if I had to, but I wouldn't be up for much else afterward. In the interest of doing this independently sometimes, I bought a pedometer this morning for $16. I'll be missing my session with Ed next week because I'll be on vacation, but I fully intend to run, using my pedometer to ensure that I do a full mile. I can't afford to miss a week of running and slip backward with my endurance. Confession: I also bought a new pair of running shoes. I love the brand Ryka, so I sprang for the pair pictured here. I'm partial to the high top style, a throwback to the '80s, but I don't care. They make me happy.

Summer reading material

I've read numerous books about bodybuilding and diet/nutrition, and nothing compares to the one I'm reading now which I feel compelled to share. "Pure Physique, second edition, How to Maximize Fat Loss and Muscular Development" by Michael Lipowski. It's a comprehensive look at structuring a workout, not in a prescriptive way but based on goals. Cardio or weight training? He addresses that thoughtfully, based on any of a few desired outcomes. He invokes no absolutes, reflecting the reality that people are not identical (excluding twins, of course) and require tailored training. This approach is one of the reasons that I respect what he says. High weight, low reps or low weight, high reps? He covers that, too. He emphasizes the "less is more" approach, provided that you understand how to maximize "less." His guidance is dense - no pictures or diagrams found anywhere - and detailed and highly informed. His writing is elevated, but not beyond anyone's comprehension. As a competitive bodybuilder himself, as well as the president of the International Association of Resistance Trainers, he's well qualified to address this material. My methods largely have followed his recommendations, so that's very satisfying, but he offers plenty of tips I found worthwhile such as the rule to work through the positive AND negative AND still part of any lifting move. Too often I might rush, or emphasize the positive, not the negative and who ever thinks about the still part? This is the book to set you straight if you're not getting the results you desire. End of infomercial.

Some new and different pain

If you don't want the muscles on the underside of your forearms to hurt, here's what you should not do. Don't go flipping an 85 lb. tire back and forth for a distance of about 30 feet, 3 times. That's what I did at King's Gym on Monday and I definitely have some pain where I've never before felt it. The exercise is supposed to be mostly a quad workout with the lift coming from that muscle group, but if there's a way to cheat it a bit, I'll find it. Maybe I was using my arms to move that damn tire a little too much. Or maybe that's a weak area for me. Or both. The exercise also engages core muscles, but none of them are sore. Only my arms. Ouch. This is what I imagine carpal tunnel syndrome must feel like.

Shrinkage (not my jeans but me)

Some time ago, a friend asked me if my clothes fit any differently. Alas, I had to say no, nothing had changed. I put on a pair of jeans over the weekend for the first time in a while and, shockingly, they were looser around the waist. This is a freakishly uncommon experience. For a long time, my weight has stayed the same, with a few small spikes here and there. Nothing gets looser, only a little snugger, with some retreating from whatever caused the expansion. Right now, I feel like I'm shrinking. This leads me to revel in the wonder of setting a goal, spending a lot of time working toward it, then seeing some results. Losing fat, in my opinion, is a WHOLE LOT HARDER than gaining muscle. I think the cardio is contributing to the losses, but so is my new dietary regimen - limiting the carbs after lunch. My short term goal is to knock off a few pounds so that I can delay the need to go on the more intense diet that ultimately awaits. I think I can make that happen.

Something highly alarming

A friend gave me a copy of an article from Consumer Reports concerning an analysis of protein powders. What they found is that some of the products contain the toxic metals arsenic, lead, cadmium and mercury. WTF?? This is totally unacceptable. Here is a link for an article summary, though it is just a cursory glimpse at the facts (the full article requires a subscription): http://blogs.consumerreports.org/safety/2010/06/consumer-reports-protein-drink-investigation-.html. For the past 3 months, I have been using 3 different protein powders. Why? So that I don't need to pick just one. Also, this strategy spreads around the technology. Maybe one offers something that another doesn't. My new plan is to dump the Muscle Milk and EAS brands which didn't rate so well in the report and stick with Designer Whey which uses no artificial sweeteners, unlike the other two, and it's available online. I always felt that the natural sweetener feature alone made it superior to the others anyway. I take about 50 grams of protein through powder daily, so I think its composition matters.

Rough week

I suffered this week. I went hard on Tuesday at the gym because I had taken 3 days off of working out with the Memorial Day holiday. I did deadlifts with a 50 lb. barbell and I paid for it. Deadlifts are strange. At the time you do them, you don't really feel like you're straining the muscle. I previously had done them with a 40 lb. barbell and felt no pain. So I thought I'd bump it up. For the next 3 days, I was in severe pain and it only intensified over that period, as often happens with muscle strain. The day after, there was the killer Ed workout, 'nuf said. Fortunately, I had a massage scheduled for Thursday evening. Ordinarily, these sessions are 90 minutes but as the 90 minute mark approached, my masseuse asked if I had more time because she said she had a lot more work to do on me. No kidding. I was a wreck. Yes, I had more time so she spent 2 hours on my messed up body. Wow, I've never done a session like that before. Meanwhile, I've been extremely careful with my diet, limiting calories and eating carbs with breakfast and lunch, but almost none afterward (ok, maybe a banana in the afternoon). That seems to have helped a lot. My energy hasn't suffered, and some weight has come off. I'm going to stick with this plan.

Ed tried to kill me and he almost succeeded (and I loved it!)

Ed introduced some heavy duty cardio to my workout yesterday (per an adjusted Memorial Day schedule) to condition me for future tough workouts, partly I suppose so that I will be inspired to work harder when doing my own independent cardio activities. Also, the goal was to burn mega calories right then and there. Of course, the point to intensifying the cardio is to help me melt off more fat. As in, the 10 unwanted percent of body fat that I need to drop. We started by heading outside, something we've never done before. This took me by surprise. Then Ed tells me to run. What?? I don't run. I hate running. I'm not a runner. I view it as a form of mild torture. So I ran. If I had to measure the distance in houses, I'd say that it was 8 decent sized houses out, then 8 back, on the street. Then I took an 8 lb. sledgehammer and hit a tire, letting my right arm lead the motion, for about a dozen reps. Next, I ran the same distance. Then another round of reps with the sledgehammer, leading with my left arm. Then I ran out and back and OUT AND BACK AGAIN, for a total of just under a mile. That's when I knew Ed was trying to kill me. The rest of the workout took place inside and included a new quantity of reps - 50! 50 tricep dips, 50 quad exercises on a machine, then 60 outer thigh reps on a machine. In between some of these sets, I hopped on the Versaclimber, pictured at the right. A nifty contraption. I did 2 rounds on it, each separated by other work. For obvious reasons, Ed and I didn't share too much deep conversation, as we sometimes do. Instead, he counted and I sweated, profusely.

Bikini Shot #3

Sorry for the delay. I had some conflicts yesterday. I've had a few requests for the backside view and that might be ready for exposure next time.

The Half Way Point

I've nearly reached the half way point for my 7-month long training regimen, leading up to competitions on Oct. 3 and 23. Therefore, I thought this would be a good time to reflect and project. Looking back at the last 3 months, I can say without a doubt that I've gained a lot of strength. No longer do demanding exercises leave me wiped out or ridiculously sore. I also have a much better command over a wider range of exercises. My trainers have expanded my knowledge to a point where I can create a very well balanced workout that doesn't duplicate anything I've done in the last week. I've also moved beyond the machines. Before I started this intense training, that's almost exclusively how I worked out, with some lunges, squats and barbell work thrown in here and there. I'm proud of the fact that now I know multiple ways to work any particular muscle. However, while all of this is nice, the key is whether I'm gaining definition. At competitions, that is the bottom line. The answer is yes, I've got some sculpture going on with my upper body. How will it compare to other competitors? I can't answer that, but I think I look like I'd belong with the others in a line up. I do realize though that it's easier to build an upper body than it is to build the lower half because of the way women retain fat down there. So when it comes to my legs, I still need to do more work. This is very high priority. The other key aspect to this body building enterprise, aside from building muscle, is losing fat. I have subtracted some, but I've got a lot more to shed. To me, this is more daunting than anything else. I know that once I reduce the amount I have, it will transform my entire look. Everything will go "ping." That's the vision I cling to. But the body needs some fat, especially for women, and bodies don't let go of it easily. The measures necessary to get down to 10 or 12% body fat are what I call draconian. Sometime toward the beginning of July, I'll need to make some dramatic changes to the already clean diet I'm maintaining. As I've been told, I'll be crabby and I'll have low energy but life will need to go on, including the training, walking the dogs daily, completing some cardio, writing my book, shopping, getting dinner on the table, etc. All that, while I feel like crap. But if the fat starts disappearing, I might be able to handle it. As I've addressed in earlier posts, I don't expect to find any sympathy anywhere, but that won't stop me from venting here on this blog. For now, as my trainers have told me, the important thing is to build muscle. So that's what my focus is, with a watchful eye on what I eat. As for what I drink, it's up to almost 50 ounces of water per day. Later, it will need to go even higher. To fully document where I'm at, a bikini shot will arrive on Monday.

One further note on posing suits

Celeste, the posing suit designer and seamstress, mentioned when I saw her yesterday that a website exists for selling old suits. Because I was curious, I checked it out and I discovered that it offers a nice, random sampling of styles and colors and a lot of buff, tanned bodies. They aren't cheap (the suits, not the bodies!), but they cost less than they would new. Anyone who's curious about the range of possibilities should check it out: www.divaexchange.com.

My Posing Suit! (grab a chair and a drink, I have lots to say)

Tonight, I drove to the home of Celeste, a lady who has a side business of sewing the most beautiful posing suits for body builders and figure competitors around the country. Obviously, most of her business is done over the internet, but I feel very fortunate that I was able to meet with her in person because I believe that this is a far superior way to pick fabrics, crystals and suit design. We got started with her choosing a suit for me to try on for sizing purposes. This caught me by surprise because - what do I know? - I thought she'd take my measurements and work off those. I even wore snug workout clothes to make that task easier. So I stepped into her bathroom to change. When I came out, she took one look at me and told me that the bottom was on backwards. Ugh! These things are so skimpy that honestly, the front doesn't look much different from the back. We discussed whether I'd stick any padding in the top and I said I definitely would since I've been told that boobs disappear when body fat is reduced. She told me she wasn't so sure I'd have that problem, that I still "have good tissue there." She asked whether I delivered any babies and was surprised to hear that, indeed, I had. So yay for my boobs. At least I have that going for me. Of course, I'm not feeling especially slender at the moment (more like a water jug really), so I just braved my way through her studying me and determining that the suit fit fine. However, as she studied the suit, I studied all the exposed parts of me. Wow, okay? After I changed out of the suit, we flipped through her fabric book with swatches. I came to this meeting with a color in mind - deep purple - but after seeing everything, I changed my mind about that. Lots of the fabrics have a glitter quality to them and I fell for one of those. Since these are costumes, meant to sparkle on stage, I thought it was a good choice. It's a shade that falls right in between pink and purple. Maybe a little raspberry-ish (like the background color, though in a few days that will change). It really excites me and I like to draw energy from color. Next we considered rhinestone patterns from a book featuring photos of suits she made. One looked pretty without being excessive, so I asked how much it was. $250. Perfect!!! I thought I was going to need to spend much more for something attractive, but, no, wrong again. Finally, we looked at a page of actual rhinestones glued to a transparency for better visibility. We decided that clear rather than colored crystals would work best. The final elements included picking Aug. 18th as my fitting date when I will hypothetically weigh less and me forking over a $60 deposit, a random amount reflecting what I had available in my wallet. To see Celeste's work, check out www.suitsbyceleste.com. She's truly an artist.

Big Shout Out

Trainer Glenn won first place in the 2010 Central Ohio Strongman competition this past weekend at Denison University near Columbus! Yay Glenn!!! He was one of 6 guys in the 175 weight class. I've been hearing about this competition for about the past month, the period during which he trained for it. What does that tell us? He was in exceptionally good shape to begin with and only needed to step it up for a month to properly condition himself to be competitive. That's nuts!! See for yourself. Watching it made my back hurt, so be warned.

Waterlogged

I selected a nice spot for the next bikini shot, but it's going to need to wait. I'm retaining way too much water for monthly female reasons, so I'm going to delay it a bit. This is rather annoying. So is the notion that I'm ever going to shed the fat that I need to. I really feel like that's something as likely to happen as me going to the moon. I mean, yes, it can be done, but it'll never be my experience. Tonight, 30 minutes on the elliptical.

Supplies

Posing coach Michelle recom-mended that I start ordering some of the things I'll need for the competition, so I took care of that a few days ago with one-click shopping on Amazon. Both orders arrived yesterday. The first item is Bikini Bite which has a roll on applicator and is essentially an adhesive that is applied to your butt so that the posing suit sticks to your posterior, preventing improper placement. In other words, ya won't need to deal with a wedgy on stage. The other order is a pair of posing shoes, a category of product that appears on stripper supply websites, something I've concluded because they're sometimes referred to as stripper shoes. They come in several styles of platform and heel height. Mega platforms are considered inappropriate thankfully (it's a tacky look, in my opinion). I narrowed it down to a 4 1/2 inch heel and a 5 inch heel. After surveying the height of my own heels, I decided that I had the best chance at achieving the elusive combination of comfort and ability to walk with the 4 1/2 inchers. I slipped them on and, despite the 1 inch platform, they're still steep. They have a fabric liner, so that should help prevent my foot from sliding. I'll need to practice walking in them, but I won't do that during any of my errand runs. I'll save it for home. Almost all of the competitors wear this style shoe for the simple reason that it offers a great look without being distracting. This isn't a fashion show, folks. That being said, everyone wears a bit of bling, so I went up to the mall and purchased a bling bracelet and matching earrings. The idea there is to add a touch of glamour (we're figure girls, not barefoot body builders!) and under stage lights, they look great. The bracelet, which is about an inch wide, features solid rows of crystals (the cheap kind, not Swarovski) with no space between them and the earrings have three dangling strands of crystals, all about 3 inches long. I can't really imagine wearing either of these accessories anywhere but in a show. One element of strategy I'll use - placement of the bracelet on my left arm, the steady one, to draw attention away from the shaky right one. Of course, it won't hide the problem, but I would be foolish to wear the bracelet on my right arm.

New plan

In response to my reaction of "Drat, now what?" concerning my latest measurements, trainer Glenn thought I could add a cardio day. I responded with the suggestion of 2 cardio days. He said I could do that but he doesn't want to see me burn myself out too far in advance since I have a solid 4 months left. With 4 days in the gym now, adding a cardio day will leave me with 2 days off instead 3. I think I can handle that. Starting Sunday night, I'll stick to this schedule for a month and see what happens. I plan to swim in the backyard pool that's just big enough for laps. I've done this every summer for the past 8 years, so I'm accustomed to the routine. If the weather doesn't cooperate, I'll use an elliptical at home. Now that I have a plan, I feel better which contrasts with the defeat I felt yesterday.

Disappointment but not surprise

My new body mass measurements:

22.5% bodyfat
25.4 lbs. of fat
87.6 lb.s lean body mass

My previous measurements were:

23% body fat
26 lbs. of fat
86.8 lbs. lean body mass

Obviously, I haven't made great progress here. I'm not sure what my next step should be either. I'll need to consult with the trainers to get some advice. I didn't expect to see terrific results this time, and this merely confirms what I've been struggling with for the last few weeks. The scale wasn't lying. I'm definitely going to need to make some adjustments.

I changed my mind

I'm going to buy my own custom posing suit. I changed my mind about renting Denise's because I'm not feeling very comfortable with depending on her, plus, I'm extremely partial to purple and hers was blue. I found a lady who lives nearby and does outstanding work on suits. I talked to her yesterday and she seems very easy to work with. I have an appointment with her next Wed. to go over the details, primarily concerning blinginess which I think will largely be a matter of cost. This isn't going to be a $1,000 job. I'm very excited about this because I think it's a better idea. I always feel good when I wear purple. On another unrelated note, the Lady Gaga cd rocks!!!!!!

Ouch

As expected, Michelle hurt me. I'm not complaining. However, I should be out walking my dogs, but that's not going to happen. My legs feel like I've run 100 miles. She had me doing some high intensity hamstring exercises, plus some quad killers. In our 90 minute session, she worked every muscle group and worked each hard, partly because neither of us could count to 50. So maybe I did 60 sometimes? We both like to chat. Anyway, she told me about her pre-competition training, about a month in advance, with Vonda Ward, the boxing sensation who works at King's Gym. They would pick an exercise and do one set....of 100!!!! Ouch. Anyway, I'm going to soak in a ultra hot bath and rejoice that tomorrow is a day off.

Funk (not the musical variety)

Posing coach and grand informant Michelle will be training me tomorrow at King's Gym in Ed's absence (he's golfing in Scotland, "the birthplace of the sport," he says). Her timing is perfect because she's all excited, bringing her high energy style to bear on my disgruntled frame. I'm disturbed by the scale which is no longing going down but back up. I'm not retaining water and I know I haven't gained two lbs. of muscle. I've been eating well, with a few cheats here and there (strawberry salsa on my turkey cuz the salsa is so amazing and the turkey is very boring; an inch of wine a few times last week with dinner when I was feeling stressed, and maybe a little too much peanut butter which solves every dull dietary element). Glenn estimates that I need 1,600 calories to maintain my weight, so if I want to lose anything, I need to go under that amount. Considering that the protein powder I take every day consumes about 200 of those calories, I don't have much margin for error. It sucks. Incorporating some cardio would help, but that's the last thing I want to do. Maybe I'm lazy but I just don't have anything left in me to devote to another activity. Bring it on, Michelle.

The iPod will be pumping!

Put away the hankies! My sad cd story has a happy ending! The Lady Gaga Remix is on its way! I just received notice that it has been shipped and should arrive sometime this coming week. I fret no more! Can't wait to give my pulse a wake up call with it!

The older men, oops, I mean gentlemen

I'm at the gym this afternoon, pulling some 10 lb. weights off of a Smith machine, then attempting to slide 45 lb. weights onto each side. It's a bit awkward to lift them because the bar is set high, so I struggle slightly, but I get one side done. Then an older man, a species from now on to be referred to as an older gentleman, comes over to me. "I know you're independent, I know you can do this, but let me help you, even though you're independent." I'm a little surprised because this suggests he has been spying on me from about 25 feet away. "That's fine, I never turn down a favor," I said. He stuck the weight on the bar and walked away as I thanked him. Now, what is it about the impulses belonging to older gentlemen? A younger guy never would have done something like that. Does a guy grow bigger balls as he ages, cuz I thought it was the other way around, hahaha. Anyway, the gym can be a lonely place sometimes and it's almost always a pleasant experience when someone makes a little small talk or offers a favor. It seems that people of a more senior generation understand that, and I, for one, am grateful.

Benchmarks

I bench pressed 90 lbs. today, something I've never tried before. I think I did 6, maybe 7 reps with Glenn spotting. We did 3 sets, each as part of a larger sequence of exercises including cleans with 22.5 lb dumbbells in each hand and step ups onto a bench that was about 1 1/2 feet high with 10 lb. dumbbells in each hand, first 10 with the right leg leading, then 10 with the left leg. I hope I burned lots of calories because even though I shouldn't pay too much attention to the scale, I do and since last week, it went up by a pound and half. This has me a bit mystified and perturbed. I'm going to do another body mass assessment with Glenn a week from today, so that will reveal what's going on, to a degree. I'll do another bikini shot, too, since another month will have gone by at that point. I'll be very curious to see if I've reached any new benchmarks.

!@#$%^&*+

I had a feeling this could happen. The Lady Gaga remix cd wasn't shipped out yesterday. Why? Here's what Barnes and Noble said in an email: "Unfortunately, we just got word that the release date for this item has been changed. We expect to ship the item soon and will email you when it is ready to leave our warehouse. If we cannot acquire the item within 30 days, we will notify you by email." I guess my heart rate will remain at idle until it arrives.

An Old Man Walks In

to the aerobics room today where I'm alone, working out with a 50 lb. barbell.

OM: Can I join you in your space here?

J: What's the password?

OM: chuckles

Later....OM is done with his free weights and ready to walk out

OM: You know, you're really wasting your time.

J: I am?

OM: Yes. You couldn't look any better.

J: Hahaha, you're too sweet.

OM turns and exits.

In Trouble with Ed

"Are you current with the posts on my blog?" I asked Ed King today when our training session started. I just wanted to know if he's aware of what went on over the weekend. "Yes, I'm current and we need to talk about that," he said with a slightly admonishing tone. Uh oh. I'm in trouble. Actually, I wasn't too terribly worried. The great thing about Ed is that I feel like he's completely on my side. He's not dogmatic, he's highly supportive and he honestly cares about his clients' success. "You can't suddenly carb deprive yourself," he said. The problem, he explained, is that I've reached a point in my training where my body is like a finely tuned machine and my metabolism works at an efficient rate that requires carbs for fuel. There's not much fat to draw from either, so there's less margin for error. "What you did is like trying to drive a car on an empty tank." Yikes! "Eat yer carbs!" is his new mantra for me. I don't know why I did that last week. I guess it seemed like a good idea at the time. Plus, I didn't think for a minute that it would have those consequences. I ate plenty of carbs before today's intense training and I did fine. I've learned from my mistake.

Carb Crash, part 2

After taking a 2 hour nap and eating some more (whole wheat orzo with prego sauce that was mixed with ground turkey, later some reduced fat cottage cheese with tomatoes, a rice cake with peanut butter, and later some salad with shaved turkey, sunflower seeds and balsamic vinegar), I started to feel better. But that wasn't until about 5 p.m. No visit to the gym. Instead, I laid in bed and watched a movie from 1977, "Looking for Mr. Goodbar." I highly don't recommend it. Plus, I had to watch it on vhs (from the library) since that's the only version ever released. It's one of those titles that comes up every now and then in things that I read, and I don't really have the patience for the book, so I thought I'd catch the movie, even though it's 2 hours and 15 min. which is a wee bit long for my attention span. It's based on the true story of a woman's sexual escapades around New York City during the early '70s, in a world infused with readily available sex and drugs. Sounds intriguing but it grew dull after about an hour and 15 minutes. Diane Keaton's performance was outstanding though and Richard Gere shows up about an hour into the movie in a part that clearly earned him his star role a few years later in "American Gigolo." So the day, while not being a complete waste, was not quite as productive as I would have liked. I'll start everything over on Monday with a training session at King's Gym.

Carb crash

I think I'm in the middle of a carb crash. I have a headache, I feel completely wiped out and I look like crap, like I need some sleep. When your body doesn't have enough carbs, your energy depletes and you're done, until you replenish. I just had a bowl of oatmeal and I'm waiting for it to have some effect. I've had this feeling once before, when I was experimenting with dietary elements, to see what I was capable of before I signed on for this bodybuilding regimen. I overdid the carb elimination and wound up in bed for most of the day. I think my present situation began yesterday when I never made it to the gym because I went out for a long lunch with a friend and had a few errands afterward and figured I'd just cover the gym today. But because I wasn't working out yesterday and burning all those calories, I restricted myself for the rest of the day and stuck with protein and veggies. My body is rebelling. So it doesn't look like I'll be going to the gym today either, unless I can put myself in turnaround.

Jennifer Aniston and Me

So I'm at a training session with Glenn and we're doing traveling lunges with two 20 lb. dumbbells (backwards and forwards), traveling wheelbarrels (he holds my feet, I walk on my hands) and several other upper and lower body exercises. Another guy is working out in the gym at the same time, jamming to his iPod (I understand) and groaning a lot from exertion (I don't quite understand cuz that's not my style). Outta nowhere, he says to me that I've got great arms, "better than Jennifer Aniston." Well, I'm no expert on Jennifer's arms so I google imaged her to find out what she's got. Now we all know. (And for those who don't know, that's not me pictured with her, of course.) I really wasn't sure what to make of the comment, but I guess she's sporting some nice guns, so I'll take it as a compliment.

Diet

I'm not a fan of "diet" being used as a verb. I like it as a noun because if one "diets," (verb) one will likely fail over time since this assumes a suspension of one style of eating and a resumption of that same style as soon as one is done "dieting." Now, if one eats a healthy diet (noun!), and one continues that healthy diet FOREVER, then the weight comes off and doesn't return. Of course, the question is, what is a healthy diet? You can eat this or that. How do you make that choice? This isn't the time or place for that info., but I know that the way I'm eating now constitutes the best choices I've ever made. The weight is coming off and I'm thrilled. So thrilled, in fact, that I've imposed my methods on my husband who needs to lose some weight. His diet (noun!) has been a wreck, and I'm working on correcting it. He's already seeing results - shedding 3 or 4 pounds - and it's been about 2 weeks. For starters, he must eat breakfast, something he routinely skipped. And I'm making him eat whole wheat pasta with tomato sauce once in a while. He's not crazy about it but too bad! Anyway, I think bodybuilders have many of the answers to the vexing and perplexing issues surrounding weight loss.

Beware

The free weights and weight machines at Urban Active should be very, very scared. I'm going to arrive, pants on fire, come May 14, ready to lift like a Caterpillar machine. Lady Gaga's remix cd is due to arrive then in the mail, ordered off the internet. It's not being carried on iTunes - WTF?? It includes 16 - SIXTEEN!!!! - tracks which might blow up my iPod!! I know that, at the very least, the music will fuel my destructive abilities, creating all kinds of chaos, including acts of superhuman power. They may need to pry me off the ceiling. All I can say is that when I press 'play,' look out, dudes. And if anyone wants to borrow the disc, just let me know. At your own peril, of course.

H20

One of the key components of the diet I'm on is the consumption of large quantities of water. The amount is determined by body weight. You take your weight in pounds, divide it by 2 and take that number and switch it to ounces. Right now, I weigh 111 lbs. which means I should be drinking a little over 50 ounces of water each day. Well, I can't say that this has ever happened. That's a bucket load of water. I'd be running to the bathroom all day and all night. Fortunately, my trainer Glenn doesn't always read these posts and probably won't know about my transgression. The reason for the water consumption is two-fold. It's purpose largely is to feed muscles because they require lots of water for proper maintenance. But the routine also serves the purpose of helping to drain yourself of water held within the skin close to a competition. The way it works is simple. The body is conditioned to process the large quantity of water on a daily basis. When the competition rolls around, you limit your water intake to just a tiny amount. Meanwhile, your body continues to process what you're holding and essentially drains it out of you. No need to sweat it out or anything like that. It happens naturally. To help with this routine, I fill up four 8 ounce bottles every morning and stick them in the fridge. By the end of the day, they need to be finished. That's 32 ounces. If I can get through that, then I refill one more for a total of 40 ounces. That's the best I've ever been able to do. On a daily basis, I've been very good about completing the 4 bottles, but I do need to confess that I get up once a night to pee. I could never go through the whole night at this rate of consumption without a bathroom break. Overall, I find it's not all that hard to drink the 32 ounces. It just takes diligence to remember and then to make it happen.

Funny thing about body builders

In my experience, I've never heard people actively involved with bodybuilding or weight training complain about pain. I suppose any complaint would fall on deaf ears because this is a choice and if you make it, why bitch about it? I'm going to bitch. Well, no, I'm not going to do that, I'm just going to be forthcoming, in the interest of full disclosure, in an effort to offer complete candor. My workout schedule continues to include sessions on Mon. and Tues., I rest Wed., then I return to the gym Thurs. and Fri. I've been using the Fri. session to really push hard because I then have the weekend to recover. This past Fri., I did 3 long sets of traveling lunges and squats with two 10 lb. dumbbells. I also did 3 sets of single leg squats (a.k.a. Bulgarian split squats) with one leg resting behind on a bench while I held 15 lb. dumbbells in each hand. That was me, emphasizing lower body work. I also did some upper body work, but none of that resulted in pain like what I'm experiencing right now in my quads and glutes. So, to avoid leaving the impression that this is all a breeze, that I trot into the gym and trot out, barely producing a sweat, I would like to reveal that I am, in fact, suffering. And often I'm dripping wet. But none of this exceeds what I can handle and there's even a perverse sense of satisfaction in it. I admit that I feel disappointed if I don't have some pain during the first and second days following a perceived tough workout. "No pain, no gain" holds true. However, the considerable muscle aches can make the weekend a little bit more challenging.