Not the news I was hoping for

21.7%. That's the body fat percentage the Bod Pod measured me at. I'm disgusted to the point where I'm giving up on the measurement. I'm not doing it anymore. It's not like I'm slacking. it's not like I'm going off the diet, aside from a mental breakdown here and there. So that's the end of that. The day before the show, maybe I'll take a measurement, just to see what my end result is, but that's it.

I trained with Vonda today and that was about as tough as I expected. But I liked it. She has a very calm, reassuring energy. She speaks softly but firmly and she didn't let me get away with crap like...asking her questions about random, unrelated things. The former reporter in me can't help but be inquisitive and I got her to reveal that she grew up spending time on her grandparents' farm where they had livestock and crops. "What kind of crops?" I asked. "I'm not falling for that, the ask-questions-and-delay-the-task trick. Think about the exercise." Drat. I only ask questions to distract myself from the pain and muscle drain. I feel like when I'm thinking too much about what I'm doing sometimes (though not always), I'm more likely to fail. Keeping my head outta the mix can be my best policy. In fact, I don't always like to know how much weight a trainer is making me lift because it will intimidate me and psyche me out. Ignorance is bliss. But I know that Vonda would dispute this point. Anyway, I let her do the counting today, particularly when she had me do 100 step ups on each side. Her motivational tactic? "You're the one that has to get up on that stage." I heard that about 3 or 4 times this morning. She also mentioned that some people collapse and hit the floor on that exercise. The worst I felt throughout the hour-long lower body workout was fatigue to the point of uselessness. "Your legs feeling like jello?" she asked with a devilish grin. Yes, that basically described it.

Toward the end of the workout, she asked me about my training regimen. After I told her I was working out 4 days a week, she looked at me in total disbelief with her big, pale blue eyes and without hesitating, she told me that's not enough. "You take 3 days off? Most people who are training for a competition are in the gym 6 days a week, combining that with 3 days of cardio, working 30 to 45 minutes."

I'm the one who must get up on that stage. I'm also the one who doesn't need to be told that my look is certainly not competition ready. Then again, it shouldn't be just yet (peaking too early would be a problem though it's definitely not my problem), but it sounds like my program may not get me there in time either. She did toss me a figurative bone and said that the first time you compete is a huge learning experience. You discover what your body responds to and what it requires to get you where you need to be. So it's very easy to get things wrong. The thing is, I'm not exactly taking any comfort in my ignorance. In fact, I'm very uncomfortable with it.

It sounds like I'm going to be adding another 2 days to my workout week and bumping up the cardio. Like a total amateur, I've stuck with my nearly complete body workouts each time I go to the gym, or a better way to describe them would be to say I fill in the remaining body parts not worked hard by my trainers the day before. That's going to need to change. I'm going to need to do more targeted workouts, like chest and back one day. Legs another day. Arms another day. Shoulders and core next. Then I don't know what, but I'll figure it out. I'm not sure that I have enough exercises in my repertoire to fill out each of these days, but I'll need to figure that out, too. I only have 6 more weeks to commit myself to the work, and I think that's all I have in me.