Alarming Development

Glenn did a body mass assessment yesterday, this one coming two weeks since our last one. I thought my numbers might come out good, with some further loss of fat since the scale has been dropping. MOSTLY WRONG! I lost 2 lbs. of muscle and 1 lb. of fat. This wrecked my afternoon and sent me into a complete mental and emotional tailspin. The problem is that 1,350 calories is not enough for me. My body consumed muscle in the absence of what it needed. Freakin great. I'm 7 weeks away from the competition and I'm supposed to be building muscle, not stripping it away. I worked really really hard to build it and in 2 weeks, I lost some of it. So this is extremely upsetting. I went on a minor food bender and ate a bunch of stuff in the fridge by late afternoon.

No wonder I've been feeling like I'm starving myself for the last 2 weeks. Needless to say, the calories are going up today, back to at least 1,500, and we'll see where that gets me. I was doing fine with that amount before. I'm also going up to increase my protein and decrease my carbs a bit. I realize that this whole process is largely trial and error, and also that the body tries to engage counter measures to adjust to whatever stresses you place on it. I'll do another assessment in 2 weeks and hopefully, the results will be better.

In the meantime, I think I'm going to get some highlights in my hair soon. I feel like it's time to make a subtle change.

Next week: training with Vonda on Monday and the posing suit fitting on Wed.

Dramatic improvements

I followed Michelle's dietary guidelines today (though I haven't whipped up her strange pancake yet) and I feel MUCH better. The calories are coming at more even intervals and at a pace where I can still have a decent dinner. Yay. I also got a haircut today because I couldn't stand the length anymore, it was soooo long. It's now about 3 inches shorter, however, this isn't the competition cut. That will come in about a month. Another bit of random info...I just booked a hotel room for the night before the competition and the day of the competition. We need to be at the competition site at 7 a.m. the day of the event and staying at the hotel puts me much closer so that I won't need to deal with a long commute. Also, after I get my tan on Fri. night (the night before the competition), there's not much I can do with myself except lay around and try not to mess it up. I wanted the room for Sat., too, because the competition involves a morning pre-judging where the judges narrow it down to something like 5 finalists in each category, but everyone needs to come back in the evening to find out who the 5 are. So there is a big gap in time and I need somewhere to hang out. Where can I go with a goofy looking tan that can rub off? Back to my hotel room.

Here's a diet tip that I'm very excited about and want to pass along. I recently grilled chicken with what's known as a "rub." It's a highly flavorful powder that you pour onto your protein (it could be fish, steak or whatever) then rub it in. And that's it! No waiting time like with a marinade. And it can be very few calories, depending on its composition. It was so easy and incredibly tasty. Maybe I'm the only one who has never tried this, but I'm glad I finally did because it's going to make a big difference for me since my fantastic panko breaded chicken is no longer an option. I'll start sampling a bunch of different rub varieties very soon.

Counting calories and coming up nearly complete...by 4 PM

The last two days have been way too challenging. I haven't completely adjusted to the new calorie count (1,300 - 1,400) in terms of spreading out the calories evenly throughout the day. I eat a tame breakfast, tame lunch with no snack in between (and I wasn't happy about that), then a snack in the afternoon, and I'm left with about 250 or 300 calories for dinner. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I talked to Michelle about this, swore more than a few times, whined for a few minutes, then she very sympathetically explained how I should approach things. Basically, for breakfast, it's 6 egg whites with oats (she told me how to combine them with a few other ingredients to make a pancake...???), for lunch, it's 4 oz. of a protein, 8 oz. of a veggie and 4 oz. of a carb, and the same for dinner. There's a tiny snack thrown in there with a few items, one of which measured 1/4 cup, so that's kinda not worth mentioning. This plan comes on top of days that include really hard workouts. Sounds like things are going to be rather rough for a while. Who knows, I might start stealing the dogs' food.

Latest confessions

I'm definitely moodier these days. When I get pissed off, now I want to bite the person's head off. Not that I'm the most patient person (I'm actually the least), but still, it's my kids who can more easily set me off.

I ran a mile in 10 minutes, 20 seconds last night. Not a very good time and not an improvement over the last time I did it, not that this matters all that much. Plus, I haven't done it in over a week. I've been swimming for cardio.

I ate a piece of cake last night!!!! I'd like to say that I feel terrible but I don't. I absolutely loved it! My parents were over for dinner and my mom brought dessert, and I thought I'd just taste a piece with a knife, just a sliver. Then I had another, and another, shaving that thing down until it was half gone and at that point, WTF! I just finished the damn thing! I told Michelle when I saw her today, and she said, don't sweat it, but come September...NOT A CHANCE!!

Michelle will be absent next Monday, so I'll be training instead with...VONDA! (see a previous post to learn more about her and her scariness). I'm VERY excited about this! The vaunted Vonda! When I saw her today to schedule my time, she said, "Be ready, girl!" Heehee, haha, uh-oh!

A rather ripped woman keeps coming into King's Gym around the time when I'm finishing up in my new time slot and I don't know if she's going to be competing in Oct. but she's in close-to-competition condition and it brings out my competitive side. I won't make eye contact with her but I will steal glances in the mirrors and compare what we've got. I'm not sure how we rate against each other, but her lower body is beatable, if another person brings it in that department. She's definitely in her 40s and sports a complete tan which might have aged her a bit, too, unless it's fake, but I don't have a trained eye for that. So now I find myself thinking of her when I'm in the gym by myself and it inspires me because I don't like her (she gives an evil vibe, but maybe that's just me being weird but I kinda doubt it) and I'd like to look better than her, especially if she's competing.

On this new diet of fewer calories, I'm hoping to bring the weight down at a rate of 1 pound per week and I'll see where that gets me. The back fat still needs to go, so after about a 5 pound loss, I'm thinking that I should see a difference.

Turning a corner

108.8. That's what the scale read this morning. I haven't weighed that amount since the mid '90s. That's what make it feel extremely surreal. I should be overjoyed, and I think I am, but still, a fog surrounds it. I definitely like how the weight loss has changed my shape and allowed my muscles to be more pronounced, but I know I still have further to go. I've lost the weight by living on fewer calories, among other strategies like exercise and following a certain numbers of carbs, protein and fat. My current calorie range is 1,300 - 1,400 which is not a lot and requires strict adherence to the right foods which I'm still experimenting with. Typical bodybuilders eat the same things day after day, leading up to a competition and I thought that sounded really dreary. But I believe I now finally understand it. It's very difficult to consume a day's worth of food and stay on target in all areas. So eating the same meals each day that are properly composed of the right nutrients subtracts any uncertainty, guesswork and error. Also, Glenn has preached blandness to me and I thought I could prove him wrong, that I could find tasty add-ons for flavor to make things more palatable. Wrong! I tried teriyaki - no! it has sugar. I tried salsa - no! it has sugar. Really, the only additions I can use are vinegar and mustard. That's it. Food for fuel, he says. Fine, I'm there. It's taken me about 5 months to wrap my head around this notion but I've arrived at last. I'm not thrilled about it either. But I'm going to keep reminding myself that this is a finite period for which I need to adhere to these rules. It's about 12 more weeks, taking me to the second competition. My energy level is dropping, so I need to adjust to that, too. I see naps in my near future. And tylenol. And mood swings. And more bitching here. I've been warned about all this, but being the perverse person I am, I thought I could dodge it somehow. Not a chance.

Fake tanning and other artifice

Yesterday, I scheduled my tanning session for the Oct. 2nd competition. This is some lady's business and she must be following the competition circuit around the country, charging $50 for the basic tan. I'm not sure what that means and whether anything else besides "basic" is required, but I'll find out. Michelle explained that this person sets herself up in a room at the host hotel, creating a space that's entirely covered in plastic for the spray on process. She clusters the appointments by gender and I think I know why. Nudity. Clients need to strip it down to get complete coverage. I'm not quite sure how the logistics of this will play out, but I've known about it for a while, so I've made mental adjustments. Plus, this is her job, she's seen thousands of bare butts and what not, so what the heck. My appointment is at 6:30 p.m., the Friday night before the Saturday event. This tan is highly mobile, meaning it will come off on sheets and anything else, but it washes out with proper treatment. Sleeping naked is advised. Touch ups the next day are required and the tanning lady has another set up at the competition location - nudity not required. The process does not include one's face, so that must be addressed separately with make-up. With this in mind, I approached the MAC counter at Nordstrom's last week and met a sweet artist who coincidentally (and I don't think she was BS'g me) has worked on bodybuilders many times, even going to shows to do make-up the day of the event. I don't think that's necessary, but I could use some instruction. She showed me some super dark foundation that she recommends for matching up with the tan. It looked like coffee with cream. I'm also interested in having her teach me how to create with eye make-up a more dramatic look for the stage, to appear more polished and less pedestrian. I'll schedule a session with her sometime in the next few weeks.

Diet modifications

Trainer Glenn recommended that I cut out the whole grain bread I eat (with next-to-no-calorie jelly) on alternating mornings. The bread is very high calorie, especially compared to the steel cut oats I eat on the other mornings. I made the change last Friday and I thought I'd miss it, but I don't really think about it. I guess I just try to savor something else instead like...my cup of tea with 2% milk and 2 teaspoons of sugar. I know that's kinda British of me and sorta naughty, but as long as I can get away with it, I intend to. He also cut out all dairy, like cheese, cottage cheese and yogurt because they contain some carbs and he's looking to reduce a few of those sources. I spent the weekend without all of these items and - shocker - I lost a pound by this morning. It's shocking because Sat. is a rest day and Sunday was 20 minutes of swimming laps, not exactly the heaviest calorie burner. But that's Glenn's theory - weight loss through diet manipulation and muscle development, not heavy cardio. However, I met with Michelle today for posing and nutrition consulting and she thought I should reinstate the dairy. Conflicting advice like this is one of the challenges accompanying working with 2 trainers. So, I thought about it and realized that subtracting the yogurt deprived me of 14 grams of protein and the cheese loss deprived me of some more protein and some fat which, semi-surprisingly, I'm a little short on. But if you eat a diet heavy on protein and veggies and low or no fat carbs, you easily can miss the mark (mine is anywhere from 27 to 60 grams and many days I've only been at 18). So I'll put those items back into rotation, in a measured way. Instead of daily yogurt, I'll see how the day is going and only eat it if I need the protein. I've been pushing my carbs down in the day, trying not to eat any after lunch, and I think this method continues to be effective with weight loss. One other issue...I completely fell off the water wagon. The week we were on vacation proved very disruptive to the gallon-a-day habit. I still haven't returned to it. So that's a total of 2 1/2 weeks that I've strayed. I can't seem to get my act together. I plan to try harder starting tomorrow.

I trained with Michelle today and it was hard, like I expected, but not impossible which was slightly surprising. I sweat like a sprinkler, with streams running out of every inch of my face and neck, but I was okay with that. I liked the way she pushed me but knew when to back off, too. She was highly attentive to everything I was doing (proper technique, correct amount of weight, increasing intensity where possible) and she explained what our game plan was for the hour, then assigned me a targeted workout for the remaining muscles during my independent session tomorrow. I'm not sure how I'll feel in the morning, but my energy is fine today. Like I do with all workouts, particularly ones of anticipated higher intensity, I eat carefully beforehand and afterward. For our 11 a.m. session, I ate my now standard breakfast of steel cuts oats with a cup of fruit on top (blueberries or raspberries this week) since bread is knocked out of the rotation, 1 cup of white tea (with 2 teaspoons of raw cane sugar - I hope no one cuts it!!), later a protein shake and 30 minutes after, a bowl of quinoa with some roasted red peppers (from a jar) and some chopped olives. That's obviously heavy on the carbs (though quinoa has a nice amount of protein) but without them, I fear I might pass out or something. Furthermore, I burn them during the workout. Would I burn more fat without them? Maybe, but I also might not perform as well and building muscle during these workouts is still high priority. After the workout, I had some grilled chicken and vegetables and no other carbs for the rest of the day, except for the minimal amount in carrots and a few tomatoes. What I could really go for right now is one of the snickerdoodle cookies in my kitchen, but no, I won't do it.

Bikini shot #5

Excuse the shorts lines...I don't sunbathe. I'm learning that lighting makes a big difference, and there's no good lighting in this shot. This reinforces how things will work much more favorably at the contests where lighting is ample and, when that's combined with the fake tan, every curve will stand out in stark relief.

Training Transition

Starting Monday, I'm switching to training with Michelle and no longer with Ed, up until the competition on October 2. Michelle competed several years ago and, leading up to her competition, she trained with champion heavyweight boxer Vonda Ward, pictured here. Vonda is a beast, a walking brick wall, and possibly a nice person, but I've never had contact with her. I've only been in King's Gym a few times while she was punishing a step machine, maintaining a (safe) distance and having no eye contact. She's 6'6" and her boxing record is 22 wins and 1 loss, with 17 wins by knockout. Yikes! Michelle has described for me the exercises Vonda ran her through and, omg. Lethal. So that's what I'm signing up for. I think it will be effective. I'm going to need to learn how to count to 50 for some of the reps. Ouch. Michelle plans to do some HIIT (high intensity interval training) with me, too. The plan/hope/intention is to build more muscle and hasten fat loss, aside from the dietary methods in place. If I can finally bid my back fat goodbye and good riddance, I'm willing to endure her program.

The New Numbers

My new body mass numbers are in and I thought they might be better than they came out, so I'm a little disappointed, but they do show improvement.

19% body fat
20.8 lbs. of fat
89.8 lbs. lean mass

compared to measurements taken July 1:

19.8% body fat
22 lbs. of fat
89.8 lbs. lean mass

I still have a lot to lose, so that's what the next 8 weeks are going to be about and I'm semi dreading it. My new diet plan will be worked out in the next day or two, and I'll begin it on Monday. I'll share the details of its composition as soon as I have them. The key to weight loss in the context of bodybuilding is to lose it slowly to prevent loss of muscle. That's been the approach so far, but the remaining amount of fat that I need to lose requires what I'd call more drastic measures. I'll use my ketone strips (see a previous post) to help guide the process. Overall, I'd say my prevailing feeling surrounding this upcoming process is one of fear.

Progress Report

I spent the last week on a family vacation, a trip purposely timed so that it fell just beyond what I might call my red zone, the 10 weeks before the first competition. I worked out, but missed a few times. I ate well, but had a few minor indulgences here and there. However, I ran my mile and improved my time by one minute. So all was not lost even though probably not much was gained. I will do a body mass assessment on Thursday this week with Glenn to determine what needs to happen starting Aug. 1. I'll also post new bikini pictures this coming weekend (think: sequins!). I'm in a very competitive mood right now and I'm feeling like I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make the most gains (the muscle kind) and losses (the fat kind) in the time that remains. What I'll be saying to my trainers, as they said to me earlier in my training - Bring it!!

Ketosis and Catabolism (a primer)

Here is some information I gathered from trainer/posing coach/former competitor/nutritionist Michelle which I find interesting and might serve as mind candy for others (no calories!). It concerns the existence of test strips to determine whether your body is in a state of ketosis. What's that? It will be familiar to anyone acquainted with the Atkins Diet, something which I cannot say I am. However, I am well aware of ketosis, a condition where the body is beginning to use muscle for fuel which occurs when carbs have been depleted. If you're on a low carb diet, this condition is a likely outcome, although the body also will burn fat in the absence of carbs. This is the source of weight loss and supposed beauty of a low carb diet. Of course, if you're a bodybuilder, the last thing you want to do is burn muscle and this is a likely outcome if your body fat percentage is low. It's simply a more attractive option to your body since there's so little fat. Catabolizing (catabolism) is another word used to describe the burning of muscle for fuel. I raise this because, in the coming months, I will be reducing my carb intake carefully to lose fat but not to go so far as to lose muscle. One way to safeguard against it is by using KetoStix (made by Bayer) but also sold under other names (i.e. ketone test strips) at regular pharmacies (i.e. CVS). Much like pregnancy test strips, they require the morning's first pee. The strips have shades of purple indicating the degree to which your body is in ketosis. I became very excited when Michelle told me about this product because it offers a reasonably accurate (though not 100%) method of determining whether you've gone too far. Without a diagnostic tool, how would you know? To further educate yourself, here is a decent article covering the topic: www.lowcarbluxury.com/ketostix.html.

Taking some inches off.....the length of my hair

After seeing a bodybuilding competition in March, then imagining myself up there doing the identical posing moves, I made a quick decision. I need to cut my hair to make it shorter. At least 6 inches shorter, by the time October gets here. For me, this is a matter of strategy. It's about covering up or at least obscuring an imbalance in my trapezius muscles, created over a 30-year period during which my left arm has seen about 75% greater usage than my right arm, the one that shakes. Why the imbalance primarily rests there, I can't exactly explain, but it's all about how I compensate in daily life. In a competition, one major element of the judging covers muscle symmetry and balance. In my case, I feel that the difference between the two sides is unmistakable. Since March, however, I think I've made some gains on my right side and maybe the imbalance is not as significant, but when I flex, it's still apparent. The muscles between my shoulder and neck on the left side are, quite simply, wicked strong. So I'm sticking with the original plan. The added benefit is that I won't need to sweep my hair off my back for greater exposure during the back pose. The big deal there is it will break my concentration which will be 200% focused on every muscle in my body and on keeping my right arm as steady as possible. I just can't be bothered with rearranging my hair, like most of the girls do. I've had my hair cut above my shoulders before, so having it just below my shoulders doesn't seem like a huge sacrifice, despite what will be a dramatic diminished length compared to where it is now and will be in a few months. But I see myself as a true competitor, and a competitor does whatever it takes to achieve her goal.

Alternative Footwear

Trainer Glenn told me about a product that sounded kinda crazy, but it made me think and I haven't been able to get it out of my head, so I thought I'd share it here. It's called Vibram FiveFingers Footwear (pictured) and it's predicated on the notion that feet are weakened by not being bare. By wearing their thin shoe, all of your foot's articulations and muscles are able to work freely, without the constraints of a shoe. Wild concept. I don't think I want a pair because I recall wearing socks with individual toes and they hurt! My toes don't like being spread out, evenly slightly. But maybe it's something to which a person would grow accustomed? If it sounds appealing, this is the product's website - www.vibramfivefingers.com.

Toilet Talk!

In response to the previous post, a friend let me know that there are 2 apps to help with bathroom needs. First, there's SitOrSquat, which also has a website of the same name, designed to enable a person to find a toilet anywhere in the world!! The site has compiled more than 90,000 toilet locations. And there's also the Toilet Finder app which boasts of 400,000 users. I feel like the world just became a safer place.

One gallon of water, consumed!

The goal of consuming a gallon of water per day has been looming and I've been anxious about whether it's really possible for me to imbibe such an enormous quantity. I decided to make yesterday the day it would happen. It was nearly a full-time a job. Between drinking and peeing, I was very busy with the task. The greatest peril lies with leaving the house because there's no way to go an hour without peeing. I think I'm going to learn where every bathroom is within 10 square feet of the places I frequent. It takes a dedicated effort to make the consumption happen, but I have in place some strategy. One of my sons drinks tons of Snapple Ice Tea, so I've been saving the bottles which conveniently have screw off caps and fit in my purse. They hold 16 oz. and 8 of them equals a gallon. I prefer glass to plastic because it's safer, with no chemicals leaching in to the water. I drink distilled and yes, it's contained in a plastic bottle, but it's the formula that doesn't leach, plus, it's not exposed to any heat which accelerates that process. After I finish drinking a bottle, I set it aside. I like to see the progress, with bottles moving from one side of the kitchen to the other. Yes, cheap thrills. The purpose of drinking all this water is to aid in weight loss, to bathe the muscles which enhances their development and to train my body for the time close to the competition when I'll "dehyrdate," not in the sense of passing out but in the sense of expelling as much water as possible, as my body is conditioned to do, despite not receiving the customary amount because I cut back the amount considerably. So from now on, if there's not a bottle of water within reach at all times, I'm doing something wrong.

A Measure of Progress

Progress sometimes can be hard to measure when you engage in an activity over a long stretch of time. But with weightlifting, it's a little more obvious. This is what struck me today when I worked out with trainer Ed. Back in March or April, he had me doing walking lunges with 8 lb. dumbbells in each hand. The next day, I had some extreme quad pain. And the day after that, it hurt worse. Today, he had me doing this as part of a super set that involved 2 other exercises. No problem! I could talk the whole time and not struggle a bit. I wasn't entirely surprised because I use 12.5 lb. dumbbells during my independent gym work. And trainer Glenn always has me using 17.5 and 20 lb. dumbbells in each hand with lower body work. The experience with Ed gave me a sense of accomplishment and clear evidence of increased strength. That felt good. I don't know where my outer limits are, but I don't think I've hit them. I've seen women at the gym work with 17.5 lb. dumbbells for upper body work and the thought that always goes through my head is "Never!" But maybe not. I don't have any particular weight goals for myself, but it's funny how the unimaginable sometimes because possible.

Fine tuning the diet and shedding some fabric

Without sounding like an obsessional bore, I feel the need to confess to two dramatic changes, one diet related and one concerning clothes. Sparkpeople.com revealed to me that spreading a total of 4 tablespoons of natural peanut butter on 3 thick slices of multigrain bread is a really bad idea. It has LOADS of fat and calories, two of my enemies beyond a certain point. When I started bodybuilding seriously back in March, I was putting organic low fat cream cheese on my bread and felt that the switch was an improvement because I thought there was greater nutritional value in the peanut butter. Maybe that would be true if I used a fraction of the amount, but then what's the point? So my peanut butter habit is gone and has been replaced with artificially sweetened jelly. Normally, I avoid those sweeteners, but I feel like this is a good time and place for it. Plus, I use less jelly, maybe a total of 3 tablespoons, so that's a minimal amount. My source of clothing excitement is the ability to wear short shorts. I think my legs are finally able to carry the look. Or, at least, it's borderline, and I just wanted to take the plunge, like I did when I went to the gym Friday. The look will improve further once I melt some more fat off my legs, but I like the idea of starting to shed more and more fabric, leading up to the teeny weeny posing suit in Oct.
Bonus confession: I made a major discovery this week...for those who shop at Costco, I learned that they sell Chobani yogurt, the high protein Greek style I favor, mentioned in an earlier post! The only place I've ever seen it is Fresh Market and that's often the only reason why I go there, but I'm at Costco about once a week, so that's a better option. They sell the 3 flavors I like - peach, strawberry and blueberry - in a case of 12 which does not exceed what I can consume within the expiration period. And it's much cheaper. I love Costco!

"If you bite it, write it!"

That's Michelle's mantra for me. She's referring to Sparkpeople.com Anything that's consumed needs to be recorded on that website. What's amazing is how it breaks down each food into its component parts - fats, carbs and protein. Two foods may each be 300 calories, but one may have a higher carb composition, or maybe it's higher in fat content. Who cares, you may ask. It's like a pound of feathers vs. a pound of nails, right? Wrong. Look, you could eat nothing but say 12 twinkies in a day (4 per meal) and have that add up to about 1,800 calories which isn't bad. But you haven't supplied your body with the proper nutrients like protein and without that one in particular, over time, you will lose muscle and possibly add fat, having a net zero effect on the scale. is that a desired outcome? No! So technically, all calories are not equal and a pound of feathers is not equal to a pound of nails. The beauty of the website lies in how it allows you to critically analyze everything. The problem is that you probably don't know how much of each element (carbs, fat and protein) you need in a day and that's key information. Michelle told me what my range is based on my goals (gaining muscle, losing fat) and activity level. It might require a consultation with a nutritionist or a little independent research to get your numbers, but once you have them, you can steer yourself properly.