The costs

With the competition rapidly approaching, it's time to start paying some fees, including $110 to compete in the Oct. 2 show, $90 to become a member of the NPC (National Physique Committee) which sponsors the show, $160 for my hotel, in addition to the $250 spent on the posing suit, $35 for posing shoes that I'll only wear for this activity and unmentionable training fees for a 6 month period. I'm not complaining, just reporting.

Also, the competition training has taken from me about 12 lbs., hahaha. Now I weight 105.8.

The other competitors

I've been wondering a lot lately about what the rest of the competition is doing right now. Are they suffering as they try to drop weight? Are they working harder than ever before? Are they feeling confident, possibly justifiably so?

Fortunately, I'm feeling secure enough in my diet and workout regimen that these issues don't rattle me too much, but I can't help being curious. I know I'm doing everything I can do achieve my goals ON TIME. My diet is exactly right and there's only so much exercise a person can do before diminishing return or counter productivity sets in.

I do know, however, that as soon as I see everyone looking their best on the day of the competition, I'm going to feel very unsettled and insecure. I'm trying to prepare myself for that which means going through a script in my head where I remind myself that I did everything I could, I trained hard and this is the best I could do. There will be no thoughts surrounding I-should-have, I-could-have.

The wild card with my preparation though is still my arm. I cannot predict how well I'll control it. It's all a matter of degree. I can't hold it perfectly still, but how close can I come? To address the issue, I have my single best strategy in place. It involves working my right arm to exhaustion before I go onstage. This helps minimize the shaking under normal circumstances and what makes it shake more than usual is nervousness. So I'm in a bit of a bind. But Michelle will be with me up until nearly the time I line up backstage, and she will work with me using bands or dumbbells. Over and over. All I need is about 5 minutes of recovery to have enough strength and energy left to flex, although there is the pumped up factor that will enhance the look, too.

Needless to say, this is all a grand experiment.

Salt is my new sugar

When I need a blast of flavor, time to bring on the kosher salt which is much lower in sodium than regular salt (280 mg. of sodium vs. 590 mg in 1/4 tsp.). Everything tastes better with salt. This is not to say I'm dumping it all over everything. More like I'm liberally applying it when needed.

I've been strictly adhering to a diet of 1,500 calories and it's working. In fact, this week has been a textbook case in weight loss. It's been dropping by .2 lbs. daily which works out to be the pound loss in one week for which I'm aiming. I weigh 106.8 now. If I continue at this pace, I'll get down to 102 which is a ridiculous number, but that's the week before the competition, and the following week I'll start bringing it back up which raises an interesting question.

What do I want my weight to return to? Since I feel like I'm in complete control of this issue, all I need to do is pick the number and make it happen by finding the amount of calories per day which will maintain it, along with the level of exercise that will support the number. I realize that's more easily said than done, but I think I have the skills now to mastermind it. At the very least, it's worth a try. I think I like the look of 106.

Bikini shot #6

Misc. updates

I'm looking forward to attending a professional body building show Sept. 4 in downtown Cleveland. What makes the show "professional" is the fact that all of the competitors have won at other shows. It should be an outstanding display of...what's possible, I guess. The show is supposed to be drug free, but Michelle tells me that, from her past observation, plenty of people clearly have juiced themselves. She's attending with me and I'm sure she'll offer some informative commentary.

I'm holding off on the highlights for my hair. I think it makes more sense to take care of that closer to the first show so that it isn't all grown out when I want it to look nice.

I'll post a new bikini shot on Wednesday. Michelle is going to take the picture after we finish posing practice. Think neon pink.

Starting Sept. 1, further adjustments will be made to my diet, like banishing any dairy, but the only dairy I'm eating right now is the occasional Chobani yogurt. I'm not sure whether the 2% milk in my tea will be eliminated, but I hope not. However, I'm reminding myself that these changes will be very temporary.

I recently took a tally of which family members will be attending the first show, and right now, it looks like it will be only my husband. My older son wants to be as far away as he can get because he doesn't really approve of this activity and even thinks it's gross. My other son is just interested in the results, not in sitting through it. My mother refuses to bear witness to anything, including reading this blog, because the posing suits make her "uncomfortable." I don't exactly understand this but I also don't care to pursue it. There are many elements of style and taste over which we don't agree. However, I think this should be more about me and less about what she thinks is appropriate. Since she's not coming, I haven't even bothered to ask what my dad's plans are but I'm certain he won't be present.

Over the past month, I've been swimming in my backyard pool for my cardio workouts since it's been so insanely hot. But 3 weeks from now, the swimming needs to end because the pool will be drained so it can be painted. I intentionally chose this year as the time to have the work done because it's definitely necessary but also, I'm very happy to end my pool responsibilities early. It's a 2-week job, between draining, painting, drying and refilling, and when it's complete, it will be closed up for the season which is fine because fall is a demanding time to maintain a pool with the leaves dropping as well as the temperatures at night. And at the end of Sept., just before the competitions, the last thing I want to deal with is the pool. There's no one around here ready and willing to take over in my absence either. Ordinarily, I close it during the 2nd week in Oct. which makes ending my swimming in the middle of Sept. feel very early. But I'll switch gears and pick up with running, biking or using an elliptical machine. Glenn also has ideas for high intensity intervals that I might try. His methods don't take long, but they're extremely tough.

I still haven't been drinking the right amount of water. I'm consuming about half a gallon at most each day which is not enough. I'm continuing to work on that.

Progress report

I have 5 weeks left to diet and train, then I hit the week before the competition when I don't work out and my trainers manipulate my diet daily based on how I look. I'll make no plans for that week and completely submit myself to the process. But right now, my goal is to drop a pound a week and I think I'll be able to do it. If I succeed, I should be exactly where I need to be with respect to fat loss without subtracting too much muscle.

I weigh 107.4 lbs. today. When I started training on March 1, I weighed 116, the most I've weighed in my entire adult life. The scale was creeping up by roughly a pound a year, and despite my best efforts to stop the escalation, including working out 6 days a week, composed of 3 cardio days of 30 - 45 minutes and 3 weight training days, I couldn't stop it. So this bodybuilding process has demonstrated that what I thought was impossible - to lose a single pound, let alone 10! - is possible. Actually, I've lost more than 10 pounds when the muscle gain is factored in. The key to the success has been the incremental changes in my diet, with different items gradually dropping out. Juice was one of the first things to go. Unnecessary calories.

Since I've made it this far, I'm feeling very motivated (ok, and very hungry at times, especially when I wake up in the morning. In fact, I have no trouble getting up by 7:15 just so I can eat). So I'll suffer what I must to lose the final 5 lbs. because it's not too much longer. Plus, I'm very curious to see what my legs look like with hardly any fat.

The purple posing suit

Last night, I paid a visit to the lady who is sewing my posing suit. She had it laying on her couch when I walked in and it caught me by surprise because I had forgotten exactly what it looks like. I recalled the great shade of purple, but I didn't remember the fabric's sparkliness. It looks awesome. Her living room was strewn with other suits in progress which was quite a sight. She has clients from all over the country, many of whom are very accomplished bodybuilders and require ultra glam work. She definitely delivers. It's obvious that her glue gun gets heavy use from all the rhinestone decorations. I went into her bathroom and slipped on the suit, this time wearing the bottom properly, unlike last time when I had it backwards, not that there's much difference between the front and back. She had slipped some pads into the top, so I get a little help in that department. When I came out, she attached the strings from the top to some hooks on each side of the bottom which is the single styling difference between a bikini and a posing suit. The bottom is extremely hiked up to meet the strings which is part of the look. In other words, it's about all the exposure that's legally allowed. I'm becoming okay with that. After I changed out of the suit, I gave it back to her so that she can add the rhinestones since we confirmed that the sizing is fine, even though I'll be losing more weight. I have another appointment on Sept. 11 to pick up the finished work. Then I can practice in it and post a picture here. I have to say that I felt semi comfortable in it, but I'll feel better once I shed some more pounds.

Here's how it's going to be

I had a long talk with Glenn today about how thrown off track I've been feeling. I covered my frustration surrounding the body fat percentage not budging, although I did hit 107 lbs. on Sat. and I got scared because that's a really low number, so I ate some fries and ice cream later that day, very intentionally. I was 109 lbs. Mon. morning. I also told him that if so many other competitors train 5-6 days per week with 3 days of cardio thrown in the mix, then that's what I believe I should be doing.

He listened very patiently - it was a long monologue, the above is highly condensed - and he told me, no, I don't need to train like that. "Look, you can get to Florida 2 ways. You can drive or you can fly. Which would you rather do? Both ways WILL get you there." Glenn believes his method is to fly. The way you fly is to go hard and heavy 4 times a week and to not devote each workout to only a few select body parts. Also, two days of cardio that's brief and high intensity is all that's needed, which is not to minimize those two workouts, it's just clarifying what's required. Too much cardio can catabolize muscle which would be extremely counter-productive.

This is a highly unpopular approach. Glenn knows it and I've been in the gym long enough to know it, too. But here's why Glenn is qualified to throw complete confidence behind the outcome of this method. He was a competitor himself for 5 years. He did split body workouts, 6 days a week, along with 5 days of cardio per week. He knows what that is and he won many competitions that way. He later learned of the other approach: hard and heavy, then home. He knows of people who used this method and won The Arnold competition, the Indy 500 of bodybuilding competitions. He now trains exclusively that way and the results are undeniable (he's ripped and recently won a strongman competition).

Since March 1 when I started training for the competitions, I've been following both the more popular method with Ed and Michelle which has been effective. But I've also seen the results of Glenn's technique. And when I'm in the gym by myself, I'd say I fall somewhere between the two. Sometimes I do more reps with lower weight, and some days I do lower reps with higher weight.

At this point, I am fully convinced that if I keep the weights high (tonight, I took some of the machines up to between 70 and 90 lbs.), and max myself out each time (8 - 10 reps for 3 sets), I will achieve the look I seek. Highly sculpted and lean. The weight is coming off without much effort, too, as long as I eat "clean." Glenn said that he expects I will fall below 100 lbs. which is something I'm mentally adjusting to because, um, that takes me back to middle school. Mind you, I'm not going to stay at that weight for very long, it's strictly a competition-based goal/necessity.

Under the especially favorable lights at the gym tonight, I could see that my definition is absolutely there, both on the top and bottom. I had a lot of guys checking me out, too. I've seen those looks before, but not with the prevalence I did tonight. So I'll take some measure of confidence from what was likely their approval.

I feel like I'm back to center, I'm balanced and I know how the next 6 weeks are going to play out. My motivation continues to remain high and the fighter in me is eager for the final battle. In fact, I look forward to the challenges ahead. They no longer seem insurmountable.

Not the news I was hoping for

21.7%. That's the body fat percentage the Bod Pod measured me at. I'm disgusted to the point where I'm giving up on the measurement. I'm not doing it anymore. It's not like I'm slacking. it's not like I'm going off the diet, aside from a mental breakdown here and there. So that's the end of that. The day before the show, maybe I'll take a measurement, just to see what my end result is, but that's it.

I trained with Vonda today and that was about as tough as I expected. But I liked it. She has a very calm, reassuring energy. She speaks softly but firmly and she didn't let me get away with crap like...asking her questions about random, unrelated things. The former reporter in me can't help but be inquisitive and I got her to reveal that she grew up spending time on her grandparents' farm where they had livestock and crops. "What kind of crops?" I asked. "I'm not falling for that, the ask-questions-and-delay-the-task trick. Think about the exercise." Drat. I only ask questions to distract myself from the pain and muscle drain. I feel like when I'm thinking too much about what I'm doing sometimes (though not always), I'm more likely to fail. Keeping my head outta the mix can be my best policy. In fact, I don't always like to know how much weight a trainer is making me lift because it will intimidate me and psyche me out. Ignorance is bliss. But I know that Vonda would dispute this point. Anyway, I let her do the counting today, particularly when she had me do 100 step ups on each side. Her motivational tactic? "You're the one that has to get up on that stage." I heard that about 3 or 4 times this morning. She also mentioned that some people collapse and hit the floor on that exercise. The worst I felt throughout the hour-long lower body workout was fatigue to the point of uselessness. "Your legs feeling like jello?" she asked with a devilish grin. Yes, that basically described it.

Toward the end of the workout, she asked me about my training regimen. After I told her I was working out 4 days a week, she looked at me in total disbelief with her big, pale blue eyes and without hesitating, she told me that's not enough. "You take 3 days off? Most people who are training for a competition are in the gym 6 days a week, combining that with 3 days of cardio, working 30 to 45 minutes."

I'm the one who must get up on that stage. I'm also the one who doesn't need to be told that my look is certainly not competition ready. Then again, it shouldn't be just yet (peaking too early would be a problem though it's definitely not my problem), but it sounds like my program may not get me there in time either. She did toss me a figurative bone and said that the first time you compete is a huge learning experience. You discover what your body responds to and what it requires to get you where you need to be. So it's very easy to get things wrong. The thing is, I'm not exactly taking any comfort in my ignorance. In fact, I'm very uncomfortable with it.

It sounds like I'm going to be adding another 2 days to my workout week and bumping up the cardio. Like a total amateur, I've stuck with my nearly complete body workouts each time I go to the gym, or a better way to describe them would be to say I fill in the remaining body parts not worked hard by my trainers the day before. That's going to need to change. I'm going to need to do more targeted workouts, like chest and back one day. Legs another day. Arms another day. Shoulders and core next. Then I don't know what, but I'll figure it out. I'm not sure that I have enough exercises in my repertoire to fill out each of these days, but I'll need to figure that out, too. I only have 6 more weeks to commit myself to the work, and I think that's all I have in me.

The BOD POD

Monday morning, I'm going to have my body composition measured by the most accurate method available. The device being used is called a Bod Pod (pictured), something professional athletes frequently use. Basically, the pod measures the volume of space you consume within the chamber, then a technician is able to breakdown how much of your space is composed of fat and lean mass. I have no idea how that's done, but I will soon find out. All that's required of me is to sit in the chamber for about 30 seconds. I also need to wear tight clothing (workout wear will suffice) and I'll be provided with a tight cap to compress my hair because it takes up space that we don't want to measure.

The reason I'm doing this is because I'm a little obsessed with these numbers. Why? I guess because they are a quantifiable measure of my progress. I'm also not so sure that the caliper method is 100% reliable. This seems like a quick, harmless and easy way to get a very accurate result. It costs $25 and the service is offered at a gym not far away. As of last Thursday, Glenn's measurement had me at 19% body fat. So I'm very curious to see where the pod places me. I'll report the results here Monday afternoon.

Food Finds

Recently, I discovered a new food (pictured) that I'm excited about and plan to incorporate into my diet on a long-term basis. It's known as farro or spelt, and it's an ancient grain with a nutty flavor. That being said, its consistency is more like risotto, the thick Italian rice. It's sold in regular grocery stores, though not every one will necessarily carry it. One cup has 246 calories which is probably average for a carb using that volume, but it has 11 grams of protein which is highly attractive. Recipes can be found on the package or online.

here's another piece of food info. that I recently learned and want to share: strawberries have half the calories of other fruit of the variety one might consider throwing in her cereal or oatmeal like blueberries or raspberries. In my world, this kind of difference is big. A cup of strawberries has 46 calories/11 carbs as compared to blueberries which have 81 calories/21 carbs. Of course, blueberries have lots of other nutritional properties that I wouldn't want to miss so I'll continue to eat them, but I'm going to put strawberries into the rotation more frequently. I customarily avoided them because - dare I say it - they're a little more work than the other berries with the cutting that's required. I can be really lazy like that. But I just cut a whole bunch into quarters and put them in a container in the fridge, so I'm set for a little while.

Alarming Development

Glenn did a body mass assessment yesterday, this one coming two weeks since our last one. I thought my numbers might come out good, with some further loss of fat since the scale has been dropping. MOSTLY WRONG! I lost 2 lbs. of muscle and 1 lb. of fat. This wrecked my afternoon and sent me into a complete mental and emotional tailspin. The problem is that 1,350 calories is not enough for me. My body consumed muscle in the absence of what it needed. Freakin great. I'm 7 weeks away from the competition and I'm supposed to be building muscle, not stripping it away. I worked really really hard to build it and in 2 weeks, I lost some of it. So this is extremely upsetting. I went on a minor food bender and ate a bunch of stuff in the fridge by late afternoon.

No wonder I've been feeling like I'm starving myself for the last 2 weeks. Needless to say, the calories are going up today, back to at least 1,500, and we'll see where that gets me. I was doing fine with that amount before. I'm also going up to increase my protein and decrease my carbs a bit. I realize that this whole process is largely trial and error, and also that the body tries to engage counter measures to adjust to whatever stresses you place on it. I'll do another assessment in 2 weeks and hopefully, the results will be better.

In the meantime, I think I'm going to get some highlights in my hair soon. I feel like it's time to make a subtle change.

Next week: training with Vonda on Monday and the posing suit fitting on Wed.

Dramatic improvements

I followed Michelle's dietary guidelines today (though I haven't whipped up her strange pancake yet) and I feel MUCH better. The calories are coming at more even intervals and at a pace where I can still have a decent dinner. Yay. I also got a haircut today because I couldn't stand the length anymore, it was soooo long. It's now about 3 inches shorter, however, this isn't the competition cut. That will come in about a month. Another bit of random info...I just booked a hotel room for the night before the competition and the day of the competition. We need to be at the competition site at 7 a.m. the day of the event and staying at the hotel puts me much closer so that I won't need to deal with a long commute. Also, after I get my tan on Fri. night (the night before the competition), there's not much I can do with myself except lay around and try not to mess it up. I wanted the room for Sat., too, because the competition involves a morning pre-judging where the judges narrow it down to something like 5 finalists in each category, but everyone needs to come back in the evening to find out who the 5 are. So there is a big gap in time and I need somewhere to hang out. Where can I go with a goofy looking tan that can rub off? Back to my hotel room.

Here's a diet tip that I'm very excited about and want to pass along. I recently grilled chicken with what's known as a "rub." It's a highly flavorful powder that you pour onto your protein (it could be fish, steak or whatever) then rub it in. And that's it! No waiting time like with a marinade. And it can be very few calories, depending on its composition. It was so easy and incredibly tasty. Maybe I'm the only one who has never tried this, but I'm glad I finally did because it's going to make a big difference for me since my fantastic panko breaded chicken is no longer an option. I'll start sampling a bunch of different rub varieties very soon.

Counting calories and coming up nearly complete...by 4 PM

The last two days have been way too challenging. I haven't completely adjusted to the new calorie count (1,300 - 1,400) in terms of spreading out the calories evenly throughout the day. I eat a tame breakfast, tame lunch with no snack in between (and I wasn't happy about that), then a snack in the afternoon, and I'm left with about 250 or 300 calories for dinner. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I talked to Michelle about this, swore more than a few times, whined for a few minutes, then she very sympathetically explained how I should approach things. Basically, for breakfast, it's 6 egg whites with oats (she told me how to combine them with a few other ingredients to make a pancake...???), for lunch, it's 4 oz. of a protein, 8 oz. of a veggie and 4 oz. of a carb, and the same for dinner. There's a tiny snack thrown in there with a few items, one of which measured 1/4 cup, so that's kinda not worth mentioning. This plan comes on top of days that include really hard workouts. Sounds like things are going to be rather rough for a while. Who knows, I might start stealing the dogs' food.

Latest confessions

I'm definitely moodier these days. When I get pissed off, now I want to bite the person's head off. Not that I'm the most patient person (I'm actually the least), but still, it's my kids who can more easily set me off.

I ran a mile in 10 minutes, 20 seconds last night. Not a very good time and not an improvement over the last time I did it, not that this matters all that much. Plus, I haven't done it in over a week. I've been swimming for cardio.

I ate a piece of cake last night!!!! I'd like to say that I feel terrible but I don't. I absolutely loved it! My parents were over for dinner and my mom brought dessert, and I thought I'd just taste a piece with a knife, just a sliver. Then I had another, and another, shaving that thing down until it was half gone and at that point, WTF! I just finished the damn thing! I told Michelle when I saw her today, and she said, don't sweat it, but come September...NOT A CHANCE!!

Michelle will be absent next Monday, so I'll be training instead with...VONDA! (see a previous post to learn more about her and her scariness). I'm VERY excited about this! The vaunted Vonda! When I saw her today to schedule my time, she said, "Be ready, girl!" Heehee, haha, uh-oh!

A rather ripped woman keeps coming into King's Gym around the time when I'm finishing up in my new time slot and I don't know if she's going to be competing in Oct. but she's in close-to-competition condition and it brings out my competitive side. I won't make eye contact with her but I will steal glances in the mirrors and compare what we've got. I'm not sure how we rate against each other, but her lower body is beatable, if another person brings it in that department. She's definitely in her 40s and sports a complete tan which might have aged her a bit, too, unless it's fake, but I don't have a trained eye for that. So now I find myself thinking of her when I'm in the gym by myself and it inspires me because I don't like her (she gives an evil vibe, but maybe that's just me being weird but I kinda doubt it) and I'd like to look better than her, especially if she's competing.

On this new diet of fewer calories, I'm hoping to bring the weight down at a rate of 1 pound per week and I'll see where that gets me. The back fat still needs to go, so after about a 5 pound loss, I'm thinking that I should see a difference.

Turning a corner

108.8. That's what the scale read this morning. I haven't weighed that amount since the mid '90s. That's what make it feel extremely surreal. I should be overjoyed, and I think I am, but still, a fog surrounds it. I definitely like how the weight loss has changed my shape and allowed my muscles to be more pronounced, but I know I still have further to go. I've lost the weight by living on fewer calories, among other strategies like exercise and following a certain numbers of carbs, protein and fat. My current calorie range is 1,300 - 1,400 which is not a lot and requires strict adherence to the right foods which I'm still experimenting with. Typical bodybuilders eat the same things day after day, leading up to a competition and I thought that sounded really dreary. But I believe I now finally understand it. It's very difficult to consume a day's worth of food and stay on target in all areas. So eating the same meals each day that are properly composed of the right nutrients subtracts any uncertainty, guesswork and error. Also, Glenn has preached blandness to me and I thought I could prove him wrong, that I could find tasty add-ons for flavor to make things more palatable. Wrong! I tried teriyaki - no! it has sugar. I tried salsa - no! it has sugar. Really, the only additions I can use are vinegar and mustard. That's it. Food for fuel, he says. Fine, I'm there. It's taken me about 5 months to wrap my head around this notion but I've arrived at last. I'm not thrilled about it either. But I'm going to keep reminding myself that this is a finite period for which I need to adhere to these rules. It's about 12 more weeks, taking me to the second competition. My energy level is dropping, so I need to adjust to that, too. I see naps in my near future. And tylenol. And mood swings. And more bitching here. I've been warned about all this, but being the perverse person I am, I thought I could dodge it somehow. Not a chance.

Fake tanning and other artifice

Yesterday, I scheduled my tanning session for the Oct. 2nd competition. This is some lady's business and she must be following the competition circuit around the country, charging $50 for the basic tan. I'm not sure what that means and whether anything else besides "basic" is required, but I'll find out. Michelle explained that this person sets herself up in a room at the host hotel, creating a space that's entirely covered in plastic for the spray on process. She clusters the appointments by gender and I think I know why. Nudity. Clients need to strip it down to get complete coverage. I'm not quite sure how the logistics of this will play out, but I've known about it for a while, so I've made mental adjustments. Plus, this is her job, she's seen thousands of bare butts and what not, so what the heck. My appointment is at 6:30 p.m., the Friday night before the Saturday event. This tan is highly mobile, meaning it will come off on sheets and anything else, but it washes out with proper treatment. Sleeping naked is advised. Touch ups the next day are required and the tanning lady has another set up at the competition location - nudity not required. The process does not include one's face, so that must be addressed separately with make-up. With this in mind, I approached the MAC counter at Nordstrom's last week and met a sweet artist who coincidentally (and I don't think she was BS'g me) has worked on bodybuilders many times, even going to shows to do make-up the day of the event. I don't think that's necessary, but I could use some instruction. She showed me some super dark foundation that she recommends for matching up with the tan. It looked like coffee with cream. I'm also interested in having her teach me how to create with eye make-up a more dramatic look for the stage, to appear more polished and less pedestrian. I'll schedule a session with her sometime in the next few weeks.

Diet modifications

Trainer Glenn recommended that I cut out the whole grain bread I eat (with next-to-no-calorie jelly) on alternating mornings. The bread is very high calorie, especially compared to the steel cut oats I eat on the other mornings. I made the change last Friday and I thought I'd miss it, but I don't really think about it. I guess I just try to savor something else instead like...my cup of tea with 2% milk and 2 teaspoons of sugar. I know that's kinda British of me and sorta naughty, but as long as I can get away with it, I intend to. He also cut out all dairy, like cheese, cottage cheese and yogurt because they contain some carbs and he's looking to reduce a few of those sources. I spent the weekend without all of these items and - shocker - I lost a pound by this morning. It's shocking because Sat. is a rest day and Sunday was 20 minutes of swimming laps, not exactly the heaviest calorie burner. But that's Glenn's theory - weight loss through diet manipulation and muscle development, not heavy cardio. However, I met with Michelle today for posing and nutrition consulting and she thought I should reinstate the dairy. Conflicting advice like this is one of the challenges accompanying working with 2 trainers. So, I thought about it and realized that subtracting the yogurt deprived me of 14 grams of protein and the cheese loss deprived me of some more protein and some fat which, semi-surprisingly, I'm a little short on. But if you eat a diet heavy on protein and veggies and low or no fat carbs, you easily can miss the mark (mine is anywhere from 27 to 60 grams and many days I've only been at 18). So I'll put those items back into rotation, in a measured way. Instead of daily yogurt, I'll see how the day is going and only eat it if I need the protein. I've been pushing my carbs down in the day, trying not to eat any after lunch, and I think this method continues to be effective with weight loss. One other issue...I completely fell off the water wagon. The week we were on vacation proved very disruptive to the gallon-a-day habit. I still haven't returned to it. So that's a total of 2 1/2 weeks that I've strayed. I can't seem to get my act together. I plan to try harder starting tomorrow.

I trained with Michelle today and it was hard, like I expected, but not impossible which was slightly surprising. I sweat like a sprinkler, with streams running out of every inch of my face and neck, but I was okay with that. I liked the way she pushed me but knew when to back off, too. She was highly attentive to everything I was doing (proper technique, correct amount of weight, increasing intensity where possible) and she explained what our game plan was for the hour, then assigned me a targeted workout for the remaining muscles during my independent session tomorrow. I'm not sure how I'll feel in the morning, but my energy is fine today. Like I do with all workouts, particularly ones of anticipated higher intensity, I eat carefully beforehand and afterward. For our 11 a.m. session, I ate my now standard breakfast of steel cuts oats with a cup of fruit on top (blueberries or raspberries this week) since bread is knocked out of the rotation, 1 cup of white tea (with 2 teaspoons of raw cane sugar - I hope no one cuts it!!), later a protein shake and 30 minutes after, a bowl of quinoa with some roasted red peppers (from a jar) and some chopped olives. That's obviously heavy on the carbs (though quinoa has a nice amount of protein) but without them, I fear I might pass out or something. Furthermore, I burn them during the workout. Would I burn more fat without them? Maybe, but I also might not perform as well and building muscle during these workouts is still high priority. After the workout, I had some grilled chicken and vegetables and no other carbs for the rest of the day, except for the minimal amount in carrots and a few tomatoes. What I could really go for right now is one of the snickerdoodle cookies in my kitchen, but no, I won't do it.

Bikini shot #5

Excuse the shorts lines...I don't sunbathe. I'm learning that lighting makes a big difference, and there's no good lighting in this shot. This reinforces how things will work much more favorably at the contests where lighting is ample and, when that's combined with the fake tan, every curve will stand out in stark relief.